By laurel ahlfeld drama_queen_ja@hotmail.com
Date: 4 July 2000
Violin Symphony (some harshness)
I'm so sick of all the things you promised you'd be and never were. You
honestly make me physically sick to my stomach. I've never met someone who
repulsed me to the point of pain. And to think you had me fooled in the
beginning. You waltzed right in with violins to back you up. I'd never heard
such a bittersweet symphony played, but I liked it and ,God, how it
intrigued me! The chords were wrong, but there was potential. Within you
there was a promise that I'd never found before. You were the one I could
tell my secrets to on all those long lonely nights when no one else gave a
damn. Apparently you were very good at acting because you never really did
either. And when you and you're perfect mate had problems, who was there to
back you up even though I couldn't stand to see such things going on. I sure
was, wasn't I? Yep! That was me constantly holding up a tissue and giving a
shoulder. I can't stand how you talk as if you gave up so many things and got nothing
in return. Maybe that's why I'm so vengeful. Because I gave up things too.
I also knew when there was a time to stop though. There are some things you
just don't give up. So now that I'm actually piecing my thoughts together
I'm discovering why I'm really mad. Because the chords weren't wrong; merely
out of tune, but we just couldn't get it. So we gave up. And now that I
think about it, we didn't really have it that bad. We still have that memory
stored somewhere in our juvenile minds. And I think we should pull out the
score and try it again. Because what's the use in getting mad if you can't
resolve it? Who wants to live their life listening to stormy seas when there
are larks outside your window every morning just waiting to be heard. Maybe
it wasn't even you or those violins I was mad at. Maybe, just maybe, it was
my own innability to recognize a masterpiece in progress. I'm sorry. Typed out
letters to form words don't do the words justice. I hope some day you'll
forgive me and you'll be able to see exactly what I mean when I say them.
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