By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 20 August 2000
Aslan Blues
the Aslan blues creep up on me sometimes without warning
making mud of the goddess I have
built up with clumsy fingers
...we were together last night, cuddling on the couch
watching "The Last Picture Show"
and tears leaked from my eyes when Sonny said,"He was sweeping,
you sons of bitches! He was sweeping!"
and then I really lost it at the end when Ruth took Sonny's hand
and said,"Never you mind" with such tenderness in her teary smile...
and while you were at work today I was saddened wondering
what your parents think of me
how evil I must seem, and strange...I can't fake cheery chatter
and I don't want a lavish wedding in a Catholic church
god...the apologies...the excuses...the rain checks
so many people to disappoint and dishearten and disillusion
I'm weak and hungry and dizzy and I just want to paint a million
paintings and write a trillion poems and be able to eat in a
restaurant in peace with no eyes boring holes into me and be able
to sleep at night and be through with the maniacal dreams
I want to breathe on all the marble statues
and turn them into real live breathing people
I want to kiss Pinnochio until the wooden smile disappears
I want to bottle these tears
and bring spring to America
right in time
for the winter.
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