By Savannah Haze superedna@hotmail.com
Date: 1 August 2000
Midnight Chat
Your arms loosen their hold around my body and your breath on my neck becomes softer. I gently move your arm and turn my body to face you. The moonlight drifts through the window and i can see your face. Your lips are parted ever so slightly. The stress brought on my work, bills and life in general is erased from your face. I envy the peace i find there. It's late, almost three. I can't sleep again. There's so much i want to say to you right now but i don't dare wake you from your slumber. I trace your face with my fingers and begin to talk. The words flow from my heart in more of a surge than a stream of conciousness. I whisper the thoughts i can never tell you during waking hours. I tell you my fears, my dreams, my fantasies. "I really believe you're the one. No, i know you are. I want to take care of you forever. Please let me." You shift and my breath catches. Did i wake you? Could my confessions have stirred something inside of you subconciously? I lay still and listen to you breathe. The room is quiet. "Last night I dreamed we were married. We brought your little girl to live with us. We were a family. It was so perfect. Do you think that will ever happen?" You move again, adjusting the pillow under your head. You move clumsily and i reach to help you. You lay back down and smile, your eyes never opening. I lay there a few more minutes. "Sometimes i get so scared. I'm afraid that you're going to wake up one day and realize you could have someone with more to offer than me. Someone with better looks, or smarter, or more successful. I just hope you realize no one will love you more than i do. If there is someone who can, then they can have you. But i know that they can't. I may not be as pretty as Aaron's wife or skinny as Jason's girlfriend. I'm not a successful lawyer like Cynthia and i'm not one of the social elite. But i love you more than anything in this world. I just want to be 'the one.'"
Honey, did you say something? I feel the heat rush to my cheeks. I lay my head on your chest. No, baby, i didn't say anything. Will you hold me? And you do.
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