By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 31 August 2000
Crazier Than the Devil Hisself
what we got here
is a failure
to communicate
I don't want my bunk back, boss
no sir
no sir
I don't want no beans
I don't want a cool drink of water
I want to holler until you hold your ears
or shoot me dead
as a last resort
people talk at me and I memorize the ceiling
feeling nothing
I take a day trip to Mercury
hang out with Buddy Holly on Ganymede
converse with God the Fraud
on His days off
"Girl, you crazier than the devil," my friend from Chicago told me
this was during basic training
when I showed off my apathy
to the boys in charge
you're SUPPOSED to care when you're wearing green
everyone knows this
and while we're talkin' about Laws of the Jungle
let's get down to the nitty gritty
go for the jugular
strip reality bare
and expose the raw nerves
I don't deserve the love you want to give me
and you don't deserve the love I want to give you
I never sold enough Girl Scout cookies
baked enough birthday cakes for my grandmother
I stole candy from the grocery store after church
and kissed boys in dark closets
and maybe you didn't hit enough home runs
and I'm sure you didn't always listen to your
grandfather's war stories
you say you were Beaver Cleaver
but I know you have your share
of closets
bulging with bones
I can't make you a pink paisley Valentine
I can't serenade you with "Johnny Angel"
I can't flutter my eyelashes
sip my ice cream soda
wear your ring around my neck
and watch videos at home with the girls
while you and the guys go to the Zodiac Lounge
armed with crisp singles
like any wild animal
I cannot be caged
or manipulated
or appeased with a playpen smack dab in the middle
of a comfort zone
I have grown into an interesting monster
all along I have warned you
about my dangerous waters
there is something of the Scylla in me
thrilling?
only if
you are crazy
like me.
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