By Archangel__7@yahoo.com
Date: 23 August 2000
Crippled
It's a cold, dark and lonely place… I don't want to be here… I really don't want to CHOOSE to be here… I've lied here, on the ground, motionless, yet my heart and mind are screaming out for help… for companionship… the affectionate care of that significant other...
As I lay there, frozen, passerbys track along the roads of life… some see me in my state, and simply take a detour, pretending as if they hadn't seen me in the first place… others come by and slow down merely to take a long glimpse at the pathetic sight that lied before them… they would shake their heads and say to themselves," that poor man needs to get over it and start walking!"
And with that, they drive off. Without allowing another thought for the lonely soul lying there on the ground.
A soft breeze blows by…. I lay there, and though I cannot move, I see all that is happening around me.. I see people walking by, the embittered ones , those who are hurt themselves… but then I see those who seem to be truly happy. The strange thing about these sort of people is in the way they travel: they are almost always walking in groups of two! My mind raced as it made a feeble attempt to try to recollect ancient archives of memories; memories which would revive old images of a warm and friendly companion long ago…
She was no beauty queen. But neither was she repulsive… she was down to earth. She was warm and practical. She was there. I remember a time BEFORE she stepped into the pages of my life: I would pace to the ends of the earth (such were the days of my childhood!), exploring the marvelous discoveries only the young could make. But it wasn't until she joined me on this long, and cold journey that things began to warm up; and it wasn't until then that I learned how to FLY!!!!!
These images continued to dance and flicker in the theater of my imagination. Yet, this particular theater had seats for only two people. But only one was occupied, and that was myself. The seat next to me has been vacant for some time now…
The colorful figures danced in harmony together…. I began to remember these times. Yes it has been a while since I remembered thinking that though I hadn't even come close to mastering the art of flight, she would be my wings…
together, they were above a world of concerns, worries, and cares. But soon, like Icarus, things grew to be too intense, and her wings began to fail… As the realization of what was slowly happening cloaked his mind like a dark cloud, a look of utter disbelief befell his face; and as he looked into her eyes one last time, he also realized with chilling clarity that this was no longer the person he once thought he knew… gradually, her wings began to deteriorate, and she dropped him from the sky in order to save herself… immediately, she began to recover speed and altitude, and soared into the horizon, finding perhaps others who were less of a "burden" to fly with….
As he fell, he continued to descend into the depths of loneliness, and depression… the fog of betrayal, and abandonment began to overcome his surroundings. He slammed to the ground. The thunderous impact had crippled him; the movie screen went black…
That was 3 years ago… today, I lie there still… I see the road I once so easily tread upon. But since The Fall, I haven't been able to get up and walk for years now. You see, not only did I lose my first and only pair of wings, but in losing them in flight, I also broke my feet which had the ability to guide me where I always needed to be; I just couldn't guide myself to happiness and healing anymore…and you know, I never really could in the first place. I only thought I did… yet my decisions only led me here.
The grass has grown some, and there are a few birds not far from here hopping on the ground looking for scraps to feed their young. Effortlessly, they barely touch ground to claim their findings and fly away … how I longed to be as such a creature… to just fly away, and to never have to touch the ground again..
Soon, there is a woman who strides by; she stops, looks at me, and is curious as to why this man hasn't cursed his Creator yet for bringing him to such a lowly state… though she couldn't help but to admire the patience that this man exerted… for one to have undergone such a series of traumas, he was in pretty good shape, considering…
unfortunately, it still meant that he couldn't walk… she began to nurse him…
Slowly, I looked up from where I lay, and because I hadn't used my gift of speech for so long, I struggled to make out a few words of gratitude for this woman's concern and care. Conceivably, she may not be the same pair of wings I had longed to rediscover for so long, but perhaps, she could be my feet…. And for that I would be eternally grateful… When that day arrives, I will once more rise to my feet and again journey to explore the wonderous mysteries of the earth and stars…
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