Why Do You Love Me

"We are too much alike

You and I"

I say haltingly,

As I gently trace my name across your pale back

Muscles a perfect measure of relaxation

After the emotional release of our passioned dance.

"You know that by now, don't you?"

"But why do you love me", you ask in a hushed whisper.

And in one of those moments of betrayal

Where my heart decides to abdicate responsibility

To an already weak, societal brainwashed mind,

No real answer at hand,

I say simply  "Just because."

Knowing you will be hurt by that answer

But unable to stop the words from spilling

As your silent tear does, tumbling from the corner of your dark lash.

Validation

I know it's a matter of validation.

As the very act of sexual intimacy itself

Has started a cascade of emotion,

A landslide of doubts and feelings of unworthiness

And that nagging voice that mocks you

But only in the space between your own ears

Where you think no one hears it but you.

But I can hear it.

Every word.

I hear it with my eyes,

As they read the shadows that cross your smile

After I kiss you deeply.

And I hear it in your hands,

The way they tremble

As you reach out to touch my lips.

A prelude to kissing me.

One of the small habits you don't even know you have.

As if by touching them,

I am made real in your mind.

But how can I validate your emotional hopes and dreams

Or banish those lifelong fears and doubts

When all I can think about

Are my own?

I have them too you know…

You want me to be Prince Charming

On a golden steed

Who can kiss you once, twice, thrice

Changing the world into a place of beauty and hope

And love

And maybe the worst illusion of all

Happy ever after.

But I'm not a walking fairy tale made real

I am a man who is afraid

Afraid of his own heart

When it beats out of control at the sound of your voice.

Afraid of my own mind

When it sweeps me away

Wrapped up in fantasies of what life could be in your arms forever.

And afraid to show you how weak I really am at times.

How unworthy I am of your love

Your trust.

"We're too much alike

You and I."

I say again with a voice choked with emotion.

"And I love you, maybe, because I cannot love myself,

Except when I see me through your eyes."

"So perhaps,

If you can teach me what you see

When you look deeply into my eyes,

And I can teach you what I see

When I get lost gazing into yours,

Then together

We will build a new world.

One that looks like us both

And one that mirrors the vast love we know exists

In our own hearts."

"I love you, because of the man I become with you

And because of the good I am capable of with your support.

But mainly I love you because you complete the parts of me that have been missing

My entire life it seems.

Until I met you."

And having put a voice to the innermost thought of my heart

I saw reflected

In your eyes

The truth.

Of you

Of me

Of the power of love.