By Angel  no1halo@yahoo.com
Date: 5 August 2000

five minutes of living and learning

two minutes past eight
and you are late
for our date
not just late
but late by two full minutes

i look into the mirror
the one on the wall by the door
the one you should have
knocked on and entered by now
(not the mirror, the door)

i adjust my skirt
and smooth the imaginary wrinkles
(the ones in the skirt)
twist a curl of hair around my finger
then rub the lipstick off my teeth

another minute has passed
and you are still late
even later now
have i made a mistake
are you avoiding me
am i being stood up

i take another look into the mirror
and try to see what i thought you saw
on that day you had asked me out
at the lunch counter
that day i almost swallowed my tongue
along with the ham&cheese on rye
when i stammered
errr...ummmm...errr....yes, of course
and took another bite real fast
so as not to appear desperate

but i see dark circles
i see the tell-tale signs of wrinkly age
i see fear
fear of the knowledge of a disappearing youth
please, come back to me!

where had that little girl gone
i miss her energy
i miss her playfulness
but most of all
i miss her confidence and undying strength

i peer up at 'old' father time once more
another minute has passed and no you
my heart sinks
i look into the mirror again
and i see failure
i see grief
i see anger
anger at what i had become

i could see my teeth and fist were clenched tight
i could see my eyes had glazed over
i could see the veins had popped out
all over my neck and temples
yeah, i was pissed

that is ok
i would fix you
if you even showed up, that is
i would make you pay for this four
err...four and half minutes of hell
you had made me endure
i would fix you just fine

another glance at the mirror showed me
a sneaky, satisfied sneer
i looked at myself deeper
and then i saw a beauty i hadn't seen before
i saw a very witty, intelligent, desireable
still fairly young and attractive lady staring back at me
sexually alluring, yet smart enough to stand alone
even in front of this mirror
five minute now past date time!

and i hear a knock!

it is so faint that at first
i think it is my very own heart pounding
at the realization of my self worth
but it is only you
Mr. five minutes late!
what is your excuse before i wrestle you to the floor?


Oh shit!
i think i am going to cry
you hand me a bouquet
you had stopped to pick along the way
i swipe at a stray tear
that just got away
i tug hard to pull the foot out of my mouth
but i vow ,still, to pay you back!

i will fix you just fine!

and i do,
with a wrestling of your lips to mine...

Angel  8/5/00
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