By savannah haze
Date: 27 August 2000
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i always tell you that no one could love you more than i do. and that is true. but i never thought about that in reverse until this morning. is there anyone out there who could love me more? and i know there is. he's out there, i've probably met him. perhaps even a former lover. isn't that sad? i suppose so, but i'm not crying. you are so damn frustrating sometimes. do you know what it's like to know that you can love me more than any other woman, but you will never love me more, or even as much, as other parts of your life? your dreams, your work, YOUR LIFE all come before me. and it is in understanding and accepting this that i know i love you more than anyone else could. it's been difficult explaining everything to my heart. i love you and want you to feel complete, i want you to accomplish what you long to accomplish. but what you truly love takes away what i love--you. i can't hate what takes you away. i love everything about you and this includes your dreams. i'm sacrificing waking beside you every morning and perhaps even the chance of ever having a family because i'd rather have 5 minutes of you than a lifetime with someone else. i can never tell you these things. you'd think that i doubt your love. and i do not. i just hope you know i have given up the chance to be with one who loves me more.
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