By Madison
Date: 26 August 2000
the rest of the letter
When I write 'I love you' letters, like the one last week, here's something you should know. There was almost always another letter from which it stemmed. Long, informative, catching you up stuff. Before sending it off, I look at it, and I realize "he doesn't need to know this part, or this" and then begins the big block and deletes.
I'm doing good here, living beautiful life fully. It feels sometimes as if I'm in high school again, but doing it right this time. The choices I can make now, the ways I can define relationships before they define themselves; it's a better place to be. Still, when I take out all of the peripheral junk and adjectives and little details to tell you, things that you don't need, I'm left with I love you. And I always will be, baby. And so, four times a year, when a changing season blows or blooms or heats or chills a memory of you, arrives a letter, that says what's left, simply "I love you, - me."
It really doesn't matter where my life takes me; it doesn't matter who I might fall in love with, or leave, or live with forever, you'll always be deep in my soul, the best pieces of my soul. I hope you're alright with that. I'm probably rewording what I've said long ago and too many times, but I just want you to know it and maybe even feel it, at a distance. Maybe I want you to let me know I'm somewhere inside of you, too. When I meet new men, I tell them early on that there is someone in my heart that will always be there, even though we will never be together. It's understandable, it's acceptable, because I never stopped loving you, why should I? It's who I am after knowing you.
kiss you,
me
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner