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By Misti Date: 2001 Oct 27 Comment on this Work [[2001.10.27.15.34.2844]] |
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One eerily balmy twilight I traipsed through the woods behind my castle because I was bored. The moon illuminated a haunted house made of candy. I can't say why I knew it was haunted. It just looked haunted. I went inside, anyway. I was hungry. No, I didn't knock. People in fairy tales never knock. Once inside I saw something I didn't want to see. Editing room ghosts illuminated on the far wall, accompanied by "Being For the Benefit of Mr. Kite." I could not walk. I could not run. I stood in place, transfixed. Then he appeared. Jiminy Roach, the Wizard That Never Was. He was drunk. Drunk as a skunk. He was drunk because his movie,"The Path I Blissfully Crawl," never got made. This saddened him so much that he lived out his days in a haunted candy casa in the woods, communing only with his demons and ghosts. I knew all of this intuitively. "Hello, J.R.," I said with a sigh. "What can I do to help?" "You can be my princess," he said. "MY princess. All mine. Mine in marriage. Eternally betrothed. I want you because you're pretty and curious. I want you because you seem almost normal. I want you because you're rich and powerful and you can get my movie made." ...I thought about it. "Okay," I agreed. "But feed me some magical candy first. I'm hungry. And I want to fly over the treetops. I want the stars to tickle my toes." He fed me so much magical candy I got sick. I swirled. I twirled. I saw spectacular visions! I flew. I grew. I became JELL-O. I became God. ...and then I found myself in a quiet room, strapped to a table. I was legally insane. |