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By Misti Date: 2002 Jan 01 Comment on this Work [[2002.01.01.13.28.30966]] |
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Tom was agitated. He was ready to go to church and get his daily dose of deprogramming. But Nic was nowhere near ready. She was lounging on the sofa in her Planet Hollywood t-shirt and royal blue thong panties, watching "Purple Rain" for the hundredth time. "Uh, Nic? We're supposed to leave in ten minutes. And should you be going around the house like that?" "Like what? With my ass cheeks hangin' out? But they're beautiful ass cheeks, darlin'! I worked my ass off for these cheeks. Literally. Ha! Don't worry. The nanny took the kids to the mall. Shhh...this is my favorite part. When Appollonia takes her clothes off and jumps in the lake." "I really don't appreciate this. If you didn't want to go, you should have just told me. I know you don't take scientology as seriously as I do, but goddamn. Show a little respect, please." "It's science fiction, sweetheart! Not real! It's all about...money and self-improvement. I don't need either. I'm good." "I can't believe I'm hearing this. How can you sit there and trash something I believe in one hundred and ten percent? How can you be married to me if you think so little of my spirituality?" "Tom, we've had this talk before. You can't talk me into believing that nonsense. I'm glad it works for you and Jenna Elfman and Kirstie Alley and Lisa Marie Presley and John and Kelly, but it doesn't work for me. Oh, god. I'm gonna have to rewind this." "Oh, how thoughtless of me to ruin your millionth viewing of 'Purple Rain,' the greatest rock movie ever made. I'll leave you to your drooling, my beloved. I can't help you. I can only help myself." As Tom strode away with tears in his eyes, Nicole muttered,"I think I'll help myself to some chips and guacamole," beneath her breath. |