|
By Misti Date: 2002 Apr 16 Comment on this Work [[2002.04.16.12.20.22052]] |
|
you gotta know the Brothers Grimm got it all wrong so I'm settin' the record straight with this song yeah, my stepmom was a capital B bitch so I went to my father with my pitch I said,"Dad, can't you do any better than THAT? She makes me scrub the floors and tells me that I'm fat. And she's always staring at the mirror and conversing with herself in an extremely odd voice...throw another ball and make a better choice!" my father knew I wasn't speakin' no lie so he ditched Baby Jane and gave Lady Elaine a try but I was fourteen and itchin' for a change so I moved in with seven little dudes even though they seemed kinda strange sleepin' in one small room their beds all in a neat row but they paid a pretty penny so I gave it a go I swept I mopped I busted my ass washin' their dishes and Windexin' their glass until one day I bought a bad Snapple from a Mr. Juice truck my crazy former stepmom was Mr. Juice in disguise and I was outta luck I fell to the ground and was presumed dead the seven little dudes went so far as to put me in a crystal bed not even thinkin' to call 911 then left me there in the middle of a meadow to burn in the sun until a paramedic on a picnic saw me flutter my eyes so he gave me CPR and to my surprise I was still alive and all a tingle so I asked the paramedic if he was single he said yeah I said Great Now if you don't mind robbin' the cradle, how about a date? he said You're Jail Bait, Babe, But You Sure are Pretty so he took me to the Village in New York City we listened to the blues and drank some beer He said Bob Dylan Used to Play Here well, it didn't last but we had fun while it did happily ever after, hell I was just a kid! |