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By Misti Date: 2002 Jun 03 Comment on this Work [[2002.06.03.21.34.9537]] |
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sweet spirited sixteen never been kissed wanted to be Scarlett O'Hara ("a girl only has two sides to her at a table") and I love, love, loved Matt Hale all because of a rafting trip the bus ride home standing beside his seat devoured by his lazy hazel eyes jesus christ...little did i know I'd unofficially marry a man who shared his exact birthdate eight years later but he touched my bare leg and i was electrified for real i could feel everything a woman is supposed to feel before she's seen all the tricks and eaten too many of the treats life was "Johnny Angel," no lie when he came to the door on our first and only official date I pretended to be still getting ready and I made sure he could hear "Chantilly Lace" blasting from my stereo before I made my breathless dramatic entrance in my new classy plaidy preppy sweet thang outfit with hose and flats and Xia Xiang cologne nothing happened but I imagined marriage and kids and a dream home by the sea until my family left West Texas for the hills of Central Texas before I left I took him for a ride in my car kissed him on his cheek and professed my love he blushed and my open heart felt its first stirrings of power oh, the futile power of heart-on-sloppy-sleeve honesty honest to god I still haven't gotten it right and then there was the night of my first official date with the guy who took me down the back roads on the back of his Yamaha he pulled me close for a sample of the Lambada and I almost fainted from sheer desire it bothers me how easily i can admit that the shivers the shyness the Oh My Highness...watch me bow how can I service you welcome to the circus then at his lookout underneath those rural Texas stars the place he told me he went to think you would think I would have let him do whatever he wanted but I looked at him more closely and suddenly he seemed hideous so he didn't get a kiss then when he took me home I changed my mind I wanted him again I wanted him bad so I gave him a kiss on the cheek he told me i was a sweetheart gave me a bear hug and his leather jacket i swear to ntozake it hasn't gotten any easier i still drive further than i need to singing along with the same old songs feeling the stirrings the longing that will never be resolved. |