|
By Misti Date: 2002 Jun 09 Comment on this Work [[2002.06.09.11.46.28777]] |
|
Mom tried to turn me into a princess with limited money and education she did what she thought was best... entered me in beautiful baby contests then beauty pageants invested in countless petticoats and panties with my name and bells sewed on the back glossy black Mary Janes white ruffled socks dresses fit for Snow White or Cinderella god, I thought she was going to kill me the day I took off all my clothes and went for a swim in a puddle of mud her face contorted with rage as she dumped me in a tub filled with strawberry bubbles and then out of nowhere when I was five I said,"motherfucker" who knows where I heard it all my friends were boys but when I wasn't being primped and primed I was being whipped/slapped/chastised for not being a good girl then when I was biologically ready for sex and childbirth I heard all the convenient myths Don't Talk That Way Around Boys They Won't Respect You Don't Chase After Boys Make Them Chase You You Have to Smile! Talk! Walk Like You Have a Book on Your Head! Write Less Poems and Stories Read Less Books Learn Tennis Try Out For Cheerleader Flirt Until it Hurts But Don't Wear That Mini-Skirt and Black Fishnet Stockings Put Away Those Madonna bangles They'll Think You're a Slut Mom tried. In between margaritas and boyfriends and calling Daddy in Louisiana to tell him what a bastard he was for not sending the child support checks ...she tried. She did not contribute to the faulty, sloppy, cheap, deep woman I accidentally became. when I came back home from a night away with the man who finally broke through she told me I could not live in her house if I was going to sleep around with strange men it was Sunday morning she was angry because I wouldn't put on a dress and a face and accompany her to church "I'd rather be a whore on the street than live in this house and be judged," I said, seething "You are well on your way," she said as she walked out the door. realizing my lack hasn't exactly made me Grace Kelly but I am not one to watch MGM classics on a Saturday night wondering where all the ladies and gentlemen disappeared to ...Ingrid Bergman got pregnant without a wedding ring and I know no one (no one who mattered, anyway) ever told her she was a whore. |