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By Misti Date: 2002 Jul 08 Comment on this Work [[2002.07.08.00.42.26237]] |
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"the word 'rapist' is inside 'therapist'," i said out of nowhere he doesn't understand he has no idea what it feels like having your deepest fears and age old hurts placed on a table and examined scrutinized analyzed for one hour each week at least now I can get through the hour without a box of Kleenex in my lap crying as I recall what it felt like to be four years old and despised by my father Daddy is oblivious, by the way I love how he flew into town for a few days and bought me Mexican food and beer and turquoise jewelry I told him about the Sunday I washed some pills down with Jack Daniels he told me sunshine & swimming would be excellent therapy but yeah the word "rapist" is in "therapist" and it doesn't feel good at all having a wounded psyche forced into the light there have been many therapists this latest therapist tells me to write the story of my life, put all my poems in a book, keep a daily journal and attend AA meetings "I don't think I'm an alcoholic," I say she asks me to define "alcoholic" and I tell her "someone who drinks everyday" but that is incorrect so I'm a majorly depressed alcoholic in denial getting by on 300 milligrams of Wellbutrin and 5 grams of Zyprexa a day time to go for a swim |