By Misti
Date: 2002 Sep 02
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For Erica

tears roll down
hostess to another pity party
entertaining suicide fantasies
leaving my poems in a neat pile
with a letter to all my loved ones
dying with my makeup on
dying in the nude
dying on a balcony with a blocked view of
the mountains but an incredible view
of the stars
but I won't die
not tonight
not for a long time
who knows how many more elegant surprises
life has in store for the likes of me
I don't know how I'll be at eighty
if I live to be eighty
a house of my own, finally?
children? grandchildren? a garden?
books with my name on the cover?
photo albums that scream
I Have Lived!
???...I don't know.
But tonight I will read your words
again, Erica
I will read of your beautiful bravery
your hard-earned wisdom
thank you for sharing your flights
with those of us
who have flown too high
too many times
burning but drunk
with ozone and sunlight
only to crash
and splinter
dried out
so much for smoke signals
I can't even breathe an S.O.S.
but thank you
you have flown and triumphed
and yes you have your bruises
for women who fly
don't stay alabaster very long
but you keep ascending
and even though we couldn't lead
more different lives
and inhabit more different skin
I love you for keeping
my eyes skyward.