|
By Misti Date: 2002 Sep 22 Comment on this Work [[2002.09.22.14.37.6189]] |
|
SCENE UNO (a mesa in New Mexico) (day) TIMOTHY: I had a frog once. His name was Jeremiah. YOLANDA: I don't want to know what happened to Jeremiah, Timothy. I don't want to hear your sad stories. I don't want intimacy. TIMOTHY: You brought me out here. If you're gonna be a bitch I'm goin' back to Amarillo. YOLANDA: I never thought I loved you before. I guess I thought this was the place and time to find out for sure. TIMOTHY: We drove all the way here to find out if you love me? Why here? Why now? YOLANDA: Because the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter is aligned with Mars. TIMOTHY: You know I don't understand that kind of talk. YOLANDA: I studied our charts last night. I've figured out why you repulse me. TIMOTHY: I repulse you? That's great to hear. I sure didn't repulse you the other night when we were in bed and you- YOLANDA: Shut up. I don't want to rehash alla that. Basically, my Mars kicks your Jupiter's ass. My Mars is in Aries. In the first house, no less. That explains my military background and my crush on Bruce Lee. Your Jupiter is in Cancer. In the twelfth house. In short, you're Ashley Wilkes and I'm Scarlett O'Hara. See? It will never work. What I need is one good Rhett. TIMOTHY: Oh, really? Well maybe one will cruise by and give your ass a lift back to Texas. I'm outta here. SCENE DOS (truck stop in Flagstaff) (Yolanda is sitting in a booth) (across from Buck, a trucker) YOLANDA: I really appreciate all of this, Buck. BUCK: Don't mention it. Glad I could help out. What are you gonna do in L.A.? YOLANDA: I've always wanted to be in the porn industry. Well, ever since I saw "Boogie Nights." BUCK: You kiddin' me? That movie was a cautionary tale. Why would you want to get messed up in somethin' like that? What with AIDS and all. YOLANDA: Well, I have Uranus in Scorpio. Speakin' of anus, my only reservation is that I won't do the anal thing. My first boyfriend, a Leo named Russell, wanted to do me doggy style. I was, like,"Okay. It bothers me that you would rather look at my butt than my face but I've studied the Kama Sutra and I realize the importance of variety and fantasy." Well, doggy style turned into somethin' else. He tried to poke me and I turned around and kicked him off the bed. BUCK: I'd never try that on a woman. Exit only, that's my philosophy. YOLANDA: Bless you. Are you gonna want to seduce me? BUCK: No offense, Yolanda, but you're not my type. I've got a woman waitin' at home, along with two kids and a couple of dogs. I wouldn't want to jeopardize alla that for some instant pussy. Besides, we're gonna have to haul ass to get those pallets to Culver City on time. YOLANDA: That is such a relief. 'Cause, you know...you hear all those gruesome stories. Like the girl on Sally who had no arms. A trucker cut them off and left her bleeding in a ditch. BUCK: Not to worry. I'm not into alla that. SCENE TRES (motel room in West Hollywood) (Yolanda is sitting on the bed) (talking on the phone) YOLANDA: Hello, I was wondering if you're currently hiring prostitutes? Escorts...whatever. Yeah. So are you? Uh, I just kind of moved here from Texas. I look good. I have long raven hair and- black. My hair is black. And really amazing green eyes and alabaster...alabaster? Uh...white. Pale. I have pale white skin. And I have breasts. They aren't that big but they're very perky. My bra size? 34C. I've never had any complaints. Uh...I weigh 145 pounds and I'm five feet seven and a half. What? Are you serious? So what kind of girls do you hire? Anorexics? Yeah, I guess horny producers and sleazy agents like to come as close as they can to fucking twelve year old boys without actually doing it and having to admit to themselves that they aren't the straight testosterone jockies they make themselves out to be. Fuck you, too, bitch. SCENE CUATRO (motel swimming pool) (night) (Yolanda is floating on her back) (in the nude) (a skinny guy with a mohawk is watching) SCENE CINCO (Greyhound bus) (Night) (Yolanda is going back to Amarillo) (she's crying, looking out the window) (at a crescent moon) |