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By RainbowChaser Date: 2002 Sep 27 Comment on this Work [[2002.09.27.14.01.22100]] |
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Danny..I forgive you Why did I wait so long? Why has all the pain just remained..instead of disappearing? I want you to know, that I am ready for you to be a part of my life Now is the time when i need guidance, direction Maybe in some odd way, what happened to me, was meant to happen so that I can go on my path for the future I want to be a prosecutor to protect all the children who have been harmed like me Are you ashamed of what happened or are you ashamed of me? It hurts to think that you can't even look in my direction and that you don't care enough for my welfare to make sure that I have money for school It really upsets me that you don't see that i am a part of you that no matter what happens that you are still my father Although, I may never fully trust you or other men for that matter I keep telling myself that what happened was a mistake, and that you had other factors interfering with you I am praying that you have turned yourself around and that you have opened your soul to God, for him to correct your past failures Why does your wife insist on hurting me? She stands to gain nothing from trying to make me appear small It only makes her out to be an idiot which is fine by me, I would accept an apology from her, if she were big enough to give me one I want you to be at my college graduation, there to show your pride for me I would like you to be a small part of my life, you are a part of my history but you are also a part of me the stories i've heard about you convince me that we would get a long I can't promise that it would comfort me to have your arms around me while I cried that the touch of your hand, wouldn't make me ill at first but i'm willing to try, if you are I'm willing to extend a friendship to you, if you're willing to put forth an effort this is something that has to be done I deserve the opportunity to have a father once, and not feel like an outcast not to be ashamed of actions that were not even partially my fault I deserve a chance to be known for the person that I am Do I ever cross your mind? Does my birthday hold any significance for you? Danny- I am going to be 21 this December December 9th..do you realize that that would mark your 24th wedding anniversary? I am all grown up now YOu missed my childhood, my nightmares, even my dreams all the choices in my life I have made on my own without help from you, or from anyone I am a very responsible person, in fact, sometimes a bit too responsible I am a member of Alpha Sigma ALpha--who has taught me to aspire, seek, attain and I am headed to law school next fall finally, I am not a liar--you and I both know that I am your daughter, and I will always be I don't want to never get to know you, so that I can live the rest of my life with regret and with what might have been I want to get to know you, and make you a small part of my life I've forgiven you, what happens next? Will I get my life back? Will the fear of men finally subside? Can I ever fully trust someone again? Will my innocence come back? None of this can happen It's so unfair that with one small, stupid action, you have harmed me so much and that every day the wound remains it seems so contradictory, that i tell you that i've forgiven you, yet tell you how much you've hurt me but it is only fair that you know if you apologized to me, that would make things better let me see the person that my mom knew when she fell in love with you show me that you actually consider me like a daughter, not a horrible demon |