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By RainbowChaser Date: 2002 Dec 15 Comment on this Work [[2002.12.15.22.32.1536]] |
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Our last goodbye was my worst struggle the most pain i've ever experienced my rock bottom how could you do that to me i was so excited to see you i had high hopes for our future i knew that i could make you change your mind, if you only saw me but when i arrived at your door you looked past me, and put on your mask you hid your feelings from me, if only for a bit and turned your heart to stone your heart communicated with mine yet you failed to give in instead you decided to let go to move on, without giving me an adequate reason you were so fake with me you distanced yourself from me time after time and treated me with cool affection that i would never have expected from you after all the love that we shared for you to treat me with such distance broke my heart in two and shattered my world but then your dam of emotions began to break and you let go of your defenses for three hours your emotions flowed on me I held you tight and made a promise to never hurt you yet you failed to believe and lied about your emotions it was just like old times but you pulled away you retreated to your fenced in heart and refused to let the sun shine in so you demanded that i go home that i move on with my life you broke your promise to me you shattered my world you will never know how much you hurt me that day i had done so much for you yet you refused to be what you promised me with one day, you broke the beauty of a 10 month relationship as i drove home, i thought i would drive off the end of the earth or at least relatively close because you told me, that you would love me forever but you stopped loving me that day, so with forever gone..i didn't know what to do my heart ached, swelled with your words, your actions, the way you looked at me so detached from reality so cold hearted and untrue in less than a month, you took your heart from me, and had forgotten about the love we knew your phone calls became so artificial i now knew what it must have been like for those from your past your coolness caught me off guard and you will never know how you shattered my world why didn't i see the person that you were that you were a walking contradiction afraid of the world, afraid of love and the only way to conquer your fear was through one last goodbye in our last goodbye, you forgot the connection we shared how our beginning was so beautiful how much we meant to each other or was i the only one who thought that i used to believe that you didn't love me as much as i thought but gaining a new perspective i see that you felt that you had to save me from the demons that have haunted you this world is far from ideal, and you've experienced its cruelty firsthand Although, i believed that i could conquer the world you didn't give me the chance you cynically, took you and our world away from me and left me to cry, wishing that i would die, because i thought you didn't love me anymore but instead, you loved me more than i loved you you were unselfish enough to let go of something that made you happy, that made your life less painful you let me go, so that i would live a better life without you, then i ever could have with you because of the cruelty of the world But i would have sacrificed for you I didn't want us to end this way I wanted us to have the fairy tale ending we planned the one that i naively believed if we lived in another time, our differences wouldn't matter i would have nothing to fear and you would have nothing to protect me from but our last goodbye happened only out of love, a love that had to end for reasons I didn't understand A love that is impossible to describe, define, or ever have again I will go on with my life knowing that you are bearing the majority of this burden because you will always reminisce about what would have happened if you wouldn've have sacrificed our love would we have had a fairy tale wedding would our marriage have been as picture perfect as you used to describe to me or would society have drug us down and left us unhappy and resentful of our idealism for each other |