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By aparajita Date: 2003 Mar 30 Comment on this Work [[2003.03.30.06.51.8442]] |
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despisable deception: LIAR! THIEF! MURDERER! how dare you? your arrogance to assume a place in my life is beyond comprehension. you lie when making promises you never meant to keep. the 'i love you forever, i will take care of you, you will never have to be alone again' said with intent to deceive. the 'trust me, i know what i am doing, i will never lie to you regardless of how much the truth may hurt' pours forth as venom from your mouth. have you no shame for the pain those meaningless statements have now? you steal my dreams and my future. you insidious ass. waltzing around with the honey tongue constantly wooing me into the belief that you are real. my self-esteem, self-respect, and dignity are nothing but a playground for your games of love. oh, how it sickens me to recall the way i responded to your touch. how deep i took you inside of me, in me, to the core of all i am. my trust that allowed me to whisper way too many inside things that should never have been shared with such as you. you did not deserve all that i had to give. you did not earn that in retrospect. certainly you should not have the power to affect the rest of my life the way you have. with glee you stuck the knife in my heart, killing the essence of me. bleeding so slowly, it is a long and painful death that just seems to never end. everytime i think i have mended the wound, you come creeping around, invading my thoughts and celebrating in my mind while i sleep. 'i don't love you, i don't think i ever did, and i know i never will... no, there is no one else'. found someone rather quick didn't ya for her to take my place before you even spake those hurtful words. amazing the straight face you kept. misguided notion that when love is shared that deeply between two people, protection of that love takes precedence over anything and anyone that might destroy it. alone, slowly dying, unable to mend that which has been broken beyond repair, i sit daily with disgust at the way you have leached yourself in my family, my friends, and my core. there have been many times i have even decieved myself into believing this is not possible. the world will someday be a better place. and, yet, i look around and see all that belies that silly perception. ruination of most things i held most dear. another example of unkept promises displayed upon my cheeks by the fresh tearstains, that seemingly bottomless pit of moisture that flows unheeded from my eyes. despicable deception: i recognize you now. i hate you, and i will find a way to conquer you. i will not give up this gauntlet you have thrust upon me. somehow, someway, someday i will vanquish the hold you have and will revel in my victory. |