|
By RainbowChaser Date: 2003 Apr 28 Comment on this Work [[2003.04.28.12.46.32767]] |
|
When will i be satisfied unable to compare the present with the past which always seems so much brighter, happier a time when i know i was more fulfilled but was i really because from where i stand right now i'm not nearly as depressed as i was last year i have my moments, but then it all evaporates like dew in the bright morning sunshine my high expectations are bringing me down causing me to overanalyze all your thoughts, actions, words i'm slowly driving myself insane by constantly interpreting the world are my expectations too high for me to find relief, happiness the small things mean the most but to me perfection is the only option the only way out of my self-induced, panic ridden hell located in my mind high expectations cause me to be let down by others who are unaware of my higher than normal standards that insist that nothing less of perfection will be accepted but the funny thing is, i'm harsher on myself..is that possible? doubts swirl in my head like a constant storm of thunder, heavy rain, and hail you came into my life at the right time why can't i just appreciate it instead of expecting you to save me you can't be my saving grace only i have the power and maybe i don't want to put forth the effort right now or maybe i'm afraid of failure and rejection the saddest moments in life come when you realize life isn't like the movies there is no happy ending people lie, cheat, and manipulate at certain low points, i compare my life to a greek tragedy i'm plotting my own downfall, unknowingly all the other characters know this but naively, i don't so i keep destroying myself piece by piece, until there's nothing left i need to stop, take a breath, and acknowledge reality no one has a perfect existence there is no knight in shining armor-who will ever be worthy enough of my high expectations hell---to be honest---god probably wouldn't even compare |