By aparajita
Date: 2003 Aug 05
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[[2003.08.05.20.18.3934]]

unrequited love

for this day i was given a gift.  my eyes were allowed to feast upon you in full gluttony.  to enjoy the features of your face, the worry lines, the eye crinkles when you laugh, the intelligence oh-so-evident in those dark and mischevious orbs.  i just know your lips must be soft, they exude sensuality.  i love the cadence of your voice.  with and without the all of the funny imitations you do.  just once i want that scottish one to say the words i long to hear directed toward me.  or, i would even settle for elmer fudd to tease me into submission.  i could satisfy my craving for you just by listening to you talk for days and days, about literally anything at all.  recite the ABC's to me, i don't care, just let me hear your voice.  shoulders strong, excitingly wide expanse of your chest.  proud manly stance even when you think no one is looking.  

you are such a kind man.  a good person and a great dad.  i imagine in all my dreams what it would be like to be your partner.  to be by your side on a front porch in a rocking chair watching the sunset many many years from now.  to look around at the life we had with the memories treasured and stored for just those days.

i wonder how you'd react to this insight i keep locked deep inside.  i have looked at you and wanted you for so long that i can not remember a day you were not part of.  long distance relationships are not my forte, especially when the distance is as great as this.  love from afar when so near is a tough challenge, and we both know i strive to meet challenges with gusto.  

i love you, i do.  faced it square today.  i want you, i do.  hope my eyes did not reflect that out loud today.  i need to feel you breathing next to me.  someday, i hope to have those hands and lips speak back to me sharing all i crave to hear. until then, i will love you as my friend and make that be enough.