By Jacob W. Haller
Submitted by Kirk
Date: 2003 Oct 13
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The Meaning of Love (Parody, PG13)

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined and more than made up for the jail time they had to do. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. Then she gives him a hand-job. That's love."
--Rebecca - age 8

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Wait, no, that's coffee."
--Terri - age 4

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. They don't call you 'jerkface' like all the kids at school do. Oh, how I long for the sweet kiss of death."
--Billy - age 4

"Love is when you go out to eat and give someone most of your French fries without making them give you any of yours, and they don't report you to the FBI for not calling them 'freedom fries'."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and he wears it every day. Then you tell him you like another guy's shirt, and he beats up the other guy and takes his shirt and gets sent to juvie. Love is fun!"
--Noelle - age 7