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By RainbowChaser Date: 2004 Jan 24 Comment on this Work [[2004.01.24.04.12.9168]] |
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the inner struggle wages on yet somehow my willpower has gone out the window and what remains is a hollow shell waiting to complete its ultimate mission how have i been so lucky as to be given god's mission to perfection and nothing less but somehow self destruction lies in my wake, nothing but i know i'm pear shaped i'll never be a size 0 my hips are too large to fit into normal juniors jeans and somehow i feel like an elephant next to normal, peanut sized paris hilton wannabe women i know that sometimes i look disheveled that i'm not as neat as i should be that i'm not as driven as i used to be when i'd survive the days with minimal minerals i want to practice law but somehow i can't even accomplish the basics whenever i'm in a zone there's always someone waiting in the wings to rain on my parade that's fine i never wait for things to develop i always rush in before i hear that there's a forecast for rain without an umbrella, i'm inevitably drenched no harm, no foul all's fair in love and war all's well that ends well i guess except my endless quest for perfection i thought our relationship was perfect yet somehow i forgot to realize that you're human you don't know what i need you don't even try to accomodate what i want i want affection, attention, and compliments i want to know that i'm actually someone not just a random distraction wouldn't that be perfect to have endless lovemaking sessions where time was no object the way it was when we first met yet somehow those perfect days have gone along the wayside maybe you're the only good thing in the equation and i'm the sabotaging substance oh, how ironic seeking perfection only leads to imperfection, but i'm continuing to practice...it only makes perfect |