|
By aparajita Date: 2004 Jun 04 Comment on this Work [[2004.06.04.23.03.24721]] |
|
my darling dearest love: time passes and true to form, it has gotten easier getting over you. i'm moving on now, finally, after 10 years of mourning for what was, and mostly, for what could have been. sweet release. funny, and not like haha, but, funny as in strange, how there is now a numbness where once was this tremendous pain in my chest and in my very soul. i actually FELT my heart break the day you left and many of the days thereafter as i cried myself to sleep. it was the only way i got any sleep at all. during each and every panic attack i had, every time i threw up because food would not stay down, all the times you smiled at her and held hands with her in public in front of me, i felt my heart breaking. i embrace the numb now as much as i embraced my hopes that you would suddenly wake up, end the nightmare, and realize how big of a mistake you had made... dreams, unrealistic yet necessary at the time. now i find i love hating you as much as i loved loving you. unbelievable relief. just thought you should know. |