By Misti
Date: 2004 Aug 06
Comment on this Work
[[2004.08.06.13.29.26599]]

How Badly I Suck

keep two notebooks
my therapist tells me
record your successes in one
your failures and negative self-talk
in the other
for successes I write that I won a beauty pageant
at seven or eight
and a dance contest at nine
and the Gates-Thomas Excellence in English award
at twenty
the blank pages mock me
I am no success
for failures and negative self-talk
I mention all the fucked up relationships
lost friendships
lost jobs
and my stupidity
and my lack of charisma
and all the reasons
no man in his right mind
would ever choose to take me on
'cause I'm in debt
and I'm damaged goods
and I should do something drastic
and I don't mean plastic surgery

how badly I suck
how deeply I am fucked
in love
in agony
looking for a cheap airline ticket
and one more reason
to jump into
this newest
abyss.