|
By Misti Date: 2004 Oct 20 Comment on this Work [[2004.10.20.03.51.10891]] |
|
where is that bitch when I need her most that Joan of Arc pendant that once dangled from my neck like it made me stronger more noble somehow where is that bitch my dead grandmother Irene Rainwater the Irish woman married to a Cherokee man she listened like a river I wanted to jump in and drown where is that bitch my alive grandmother Dolores Ferrier the woman who made me honest to a fault because of her perfect lies she with all the money and safety I will never have she has built a castle out of bullshit and I hate her for it where is that bitch my own mother I love her fiercely and hate her sometimes more than a little she laid down the tracks the wild tracks all over the place I do not know what kind of animal she is but I am almost the same animal but even wilder and wiser and much more selfish but I follow her tracks and know there will never be an explanation she could not save me I stopped clinging to her fur where is that bitch the monster bitch immortal all the women I've ever admired and envied and loved more than myself could not get close enough to and so I turned away made a god out of clay dubbed him One Night Stand Husband Boyfriend Unrequited Crush Daddy On Line Three But Not For Me god help me I don't have a map this crap is killing me one heartache at a time. |