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By aparajita Date: 2005 Jul 29 Comment on this Work [[2005.07.29.12.53.13177]] |
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last night i did it again. danced alone. literally hundreds of people surrounding me on the floor and i danced alone. finally walked away to look out the window on downtown DC and dance by myself alone. felt so much more comfortable that way. more right somehow. introspective thoughts badger my mind of how many dances i've danced alone. ate alone. traveled alone. laughed alone. cried alone. loved alone. DC is a good place to be alone. millions of people to appease the mind that there is a social connection of sorts. worries the soul less to fool it into thinking that i am not so alone after all. yet, i long for home. at home i can be alone and not notice the stark realities. familiar nest and comfort zones of home. not so much hard concrete in Arkansas to taunt that the heart is getting just as hard and closed off, every bit as much unyielding. trees, hills, grass, open skies all bring a sense of peace when loneliness becomes ugly. how many more dances will there be to dance alone? and, i suppose if i were to put a positive spin on it, i'd have to at least be grateful that i am still able to dance. but, at what cost? |