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By aparajita Date: 2006 Aug 01 Comment on this Work [[2006.08.01.12.08.5229]] |
| today just isn't working for me. i want to trade it in for another. more specifically, the someday for which i've been desperately hanging on, oh so patiently waiting for so very long. the one where this pain in my chest, that deep unforgiving hollow empty ache that prevents me from taking a deep breath, is no longer there. when the ache is replaced with joy and giddy excitement making my loins tingle because a special someone is waiting to meet me. the tightening in my chest replaced with delicious feelings and weak knees making me lightheaded and breathless with anticipation. a someday when that last first date blossoms into the incredible safety and security of a sustainable romance lasting the rest of my life. when daily i'll have the opportunity to have my best friend to call in the middle of the day if life's dirty little tricks beat me up; or, to go home and have my man's chest to lay my head upon while his strong arms surround me in a comforting embrace. a true partner to help me fight those daily battles, maybe even allow me the luxury to occasionally not have to remain so strong, to fight for me. can't imagine the someday when i can trust that completely, but i crave it just as an addict craves the next hit. even the someday when travelling i know that the person who loves me most is worrying and tries to find out if i am ok because i am late coming home, as it stands now i could be missing for several days before anyone would think to look for me. i long for a someday i'll feel a body pressed up against mine dancing, rhythmically leading me to our own tunes, every single song. and many many somenights filled with passion, familiarity only lifetime lover's can know, making love with... with, both of us exploring and teasing and tempting the limits of sanity, discovering where every threshold is for pleasure. my own arms ache to hold, my hands to touch, my fingers to feel, my lips to kiss, my tongue to taste, my eyes to feastfully gaze, and my ears to hear love sounds in every conceivable form from giggles over body noises to words of endearment and private memories shared only by two. the someday that has the future inclusive of a hand holding mine when we are in our 80's walking the park, or sitting on the front porch watching the sunrise with words unnecessary, or whispering in the middle of the night remembering when we both still glowed with some semblance of youth and firmish flesh, having built a history together. |