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By Lilla Date: 2008 Apr 20 Comment on this Work [[2008.04.20.04.15.17539]] |
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1. 'Miszed my birthday (again ... after U miszed it the first time in 'O6). U got an excuse to have an appointment somewhere in Cavite ... so I was told. Funny to have said to your so-called bestfriend that U wanted to join but i was gonna be there...silly :) lest U forgot ...twas my 37th we were celebratin' and i was the one to foot the bill for that. shoootss! 2. Your bro talked to me that night. Telling me how U've moved on. Back to the old girl (again for the nth time). I just turned my back from him and went to my party. Tat was my party and Ur crew spoiled it (again for the nth time). shootsss! 3. Oh so the dirty email. Then, I have accepted how i was living my life in a fish bowl. My bowl and/or yours. 4. The mask man sent his concerns to one of my fave sites. I was really very suspicious about all those but i needed to take the ride to get to the truth. Circumstantial evidences led to U and some people around U. I was damned! 5. I tried to go to Bangkok with best dude, and failed. I broke his heart for the nth time, so he went to the bar and met some British girl. The rest was history. 6. U flew somewhere with your "original". Jet settin' after Singapore, huh. So U guys kinda got tired of Cavite and Subic huh? At least, we were not in the same place at the same time anymore. Or may be if Bangkok pushed through then most likely U guys in it, too. At least for her she thought you were so sweet taking her around town ... i really love U honest, but some times U make me really really sick, honest. 7. IFEX I: Big fight with best dude! He never wanted me to be part of that groupie anymore. I was persistent. He was ballistic. He was right. Darn! 8. IFEX II: U and your crew made me feel like the "other woman" ~~ a scorned lover, a kept woman. U were with her but your eyes were on me. U and your crew ... you really love that drama didnt you? I hated that so much. Thank God, Wenggay was there to see me through. 9. Some rare moments of courage, I called U (and U rejected it, not knowing that would be my last). U came down to CORPLAN worried, looking for Weng (not knowing i made up my mind). I locked myself up with Virginia. She was the only one who saw the tears. She hated that! 10.I found out your talk with The Jerk. Four months after U talk to her. Another point agaist U. U spoke about me to everyone but never never to me. Not realizing, your destroying a budding friendship for I never spoke to her again. Never wanting to be near her again. Lest i wanted another person to cut open my life before U again. Baby, your tribe had greatly increased huh. That must be fun,ayt? 11. Your lunchmate and her cohorts making some cheesy stories about your so called closeness. It got to me. It got to him. Those stories were kinda shitty pig pen stuff. That one made me puke! 12. He came home. We got drunk. I got stealthed. We're good buddies, dont U get that ... and above all we're not dogs! I dont sleep with my friends ... unless we are both in love with each other. But that ones kinda rare. In this case, embrace this ... we're not hitting on each other ...not before, not today, not ever. Your friend is in love with Banana Girl, and I am in love with U. For God's sake ... pleaseeeee 13.Last rare moment of courage, twas raining so I offered you a ride. You rejected it again. What else is new. 14.Coffee time with best dude :) sometimes i wish ... i really do ... i wish ... i wish ... he is U ... dammit! 15.thirty-two candles all dead now. 16.Happy Christmas. Twas posted all over. She viewed all my friends. The picture sez ... she was overjoyed by your presence ... but your sad eyes, baby were so unbearable. Sometimes i wanna tell U, to get off that wheel... get off! And be happy! 17. My best dude's now a dad! I am so envious :) but he deserves no less. Joshen is such a bundle of joy. I am Tita again ehem to a fairy boy ;) 18. My last e-Services. Some rosy nights, turned pitch black. If U knew i would be gone soon, would you have done something really bold and daring for us? Stupid question huh. I knew the answers before I asked them. So i didnt really have to ask at all. I never asked. Not 2 years ago. Not 2 seconds from now. 19. Coincidence in Blue Wave. Pancakes. Loveblender. I was in panic. Rushing ... By this time, i knew i was leaving (really really soon). U stealthed me (again). That was great! U got into rumors then U stealthed me ... why baby??? ... U can never undo it jusz like the many many things U wished U never did, but did them anyway ... it's been killing us ... I came back at least once a week. Some finishing touches. Then I dunno when again. My new world is getting busier each day.. And i kinda like enjoy it ... kill myself from work :) 14th April ... that Monday before my birthday Monday ... U got your hair done :) (U didnt want me too see U covered with hairs huh)...went down to Corplan (which I didnt know until i was told after U were gone), i was still stealthed ... all over the place (hey ... i know youre smart, and i like that baby ... but i know too that U know ... Im smarter ... i know everything i have to know ... sadly mostly the bad ones) ... U got a ride (we've got hopes that day, didnt we? ... but then, as I said ... 30th gazillionth lightyears ... that last last Monday was again and again BOTH our fault). So U took your ride. I went to Blue Wave with girlfriend. I was teary-eyed. Heartbroken. Girlfriend could not bear the sight. I hated you. I hated me. That was my last year (not knowing it was my last). Was that fun or what? Last year was persecution year ... it felt like twenny years to me. I am not sure if i had a better, fancier way of breezin' through it ... I was broke, I was untrusting, I was hurt, I was sick ... all those times ... baby, U just were never there. NEVER. I was in the fish bowl ... mud stinky water ... U were outside watching ... they threw shit at me ... U were STEADY watching ... sometimes I ask ... if U were enjoying the STEADY watching thing ... I know better. I need not ask. I am gone. I have fresh pages now. And I am 38 tomorrow. |