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By Lilla Date: 2008 May 17 Comment on this Work [[2008.05.17.12.29.28667]] |
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Lilla (5/12/2008 3:54:56 PM): ang pain mo sa sadness e low... hows citem? (YOUR TOLERANCE FOR PAIN IS LOW ... HOW'S CITEM?) Princess D (5/12/2008 3:59:30 PM): at saka matagal akong malungkot, nagdadalamhati. chaka super ever. maramdamin ang lolah. amen. (YEAH ...AM KINDA HARD WTH SADNESS. AM TOO SENSITIVE. AMEN) Lilla (5/12/2008 4:06:30 PM): i remember ... sa yo ko narinig with all the conviction in the delivery huh ... this thing called ... wallow (I REMEMBER ... I HEARD FROM YOU FIRST THIS THING ABOUT WALLOW ... DELIVERED WITH CONVICTION AND ALL THAT.) Princess D (5/12/2008 4:09:52 PM): wa-wallow... naman! so much so that i like you guys to move on, there's a teeny-eensy wee bit inside me na nalulungkot when you do go. but, generally, am very happy for you. no qualms about it. happy ako sa successment mo. sad lang me a weeeee bit kasi wala ka na here. may dala pa naman me na tart. i thought kanina to drop by pero nu'ng nakita ko si lani at saka ko na-remember na si gaudencio na ang nasa div. mo. chakaness.... (....I BROUGHT YOU TARTS ... I THOUGHT OF GOING DOWN AND BRINGING EM TO YOUR OFFICE, I SAW OLD FACES ... AND REMEMBERED YOU WERE GONE) Lilla (5/12/2008 4:14:21 PM): awwwwww Princess D (5/12/2008 4:19:38 PM): awwww ka diyan... yoko nga si awwwww... (.... I HATE AWWWWWSSS ) ...so this thing called Wallow. She mentioned this to me for the lack of it some 3 years ago. May be then she was right. I was in denial. Thinking being dumped was something I could deal with jusz like a grain of salt. Yeah, saltier when tears got really bad ... too bad it made my eyes, my face swollen and gray. "Take time to wallow," as she uttered my name. It's necessary you know. You deserve it. Don't deny yourself of it. Six months. It took me 6 fuckin' months to wallow. Those black clouds hovering over me. Four hours of my day travelling from home to office and back ... in tears and sadness. Wallow was a like a prescription drug that somehow helped me go through a really difficult phase in my life. A really bad ugly break up at 4 months before my 35th summer. Sometimes good friends ... can be good doctors, too. ... Fast foward. Just passed my 38th summer, and a picture of me and myself and a suitcase of 15 years of memories. Not much time to kiss everyone goodbye. That was one important urgent leaving. But I did leave a few of my tiny yellow flowers, ohhhh my lilac butterflies, my pillow heart's with Abi, Virginia got my micro ind fan, and yes, Manila's only Pippi Longstocking, i sent for my Baby Mark. Everything was in a rush. Everything must go. A few hours left. My old life numbered. Tomorrow was 1st of April ... I got transported to a world away from 15 years ... of people who loved and hurt me. My head's empty and heavy. Certified: Separation anxiety gone just as bad as my post portum. So i got this chance to talk online with this same girlfriend six days ago ... God's way of telling this silly old gypsy ... it's been two years and all ... go get your Wallow Pill. |