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By Kirk Date: 2008 Jul 12 Comment on this Work [[2008.07.12.10.31.14552]] |
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heh, she's getting married -- re-married, today. she had found the life she wants, the guy she wants, has stuck with it and him the years since. (short years? long years? long years that seem short... a long stretch when you're living it, the quickest gasp as you look back) if i begrudge her anything, it's that our romance wasn't what i thought it was and what i thought it was seemed awfully great. (an infidel and a spy walk out of a bar -- stop me if you've heard this one.) and that's some of what it comes back to, wondering if i can find a romance in that original make and that original model. romance uncertain of its aim, romance too neurotic to know that kids, house, and la vie domestique form that thing to which we should aspire. but oy, the questions! is that hope self-defeating, the romance so described self-limiting and contradictory? am i enough to offer someone who might be seeking similar? is it life described so self centered as to make copernicus swear and curse? such a good "unka"; am i missing out on life real life in not being shaped by that old genetic imperative? ... it's a big world space enough for love to get lost tell me what to do to get found. |