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By aparajita Date: 2009 Apr 03 Comment on this Work [[2009.04.03.01.21.10608]] |
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lately it's becoming more and more clear (who defines more of more, or less of less? is there really such a quantity of either?) that life keeps trying to uncomplicate itself parethetically. as if there could be explanations acceptable for how i am where i am at this precise moment; and why it is now as the when, with no who for the what (actually, brutally honestly, there's barely a what anyhow... why would a who want to share that?). constant dialogue, questions and answers, the beginnings of real conversations (this is the warning often shared by all the well meaning individuals that are secretly doing the same damn thing) between me, myself, and i. without the triunal, there'd be no one to talk with on all these sleepless nights. which is another joke dear old mother (as in nature) plays. insomnia. aka a slow and tortuous mental death. pearls of wisdom come at 3am that none of the condemned three really want to deal with. (this is a good one: at my age i should be somewhere in the middle of pimples and gray hair, so why is it i have both?) (or, or, ... the irony of thinking the unthinkable about all the what could have beens if what should've happened, had've). nights like those, the troika just can't settle down. (whatever you do, don't even begin the conversation of self love. hopeless and endless path that is far more frustrating than just leaving well enough alone) (so, i wonder, is happiness possible alone. with a tailgate on that... is happiness possible in relationships that have the potential to fail? because, they all do... relationships... and potential failure. at least in my triunity relationship there is a visible future with accountability that can be trusted) |