From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=638">Hopeful</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

Ahhhh...I missed the Princess Bride discussion.<BR>
That IS one of my sentimental favorites.<BR>
<BR>
Wistful- *hug* I feel for your situation.  It is the biggest heartache possible to listen to your heart and head fight when there is no real answer.  The man is terrible news for YOUR heart in every possible way.  But, you alreay know that right...just try telling yourself to forget every reason you loved him...anyways...all my rambling answer really means is I UNDERSTAND.  And if you want to email me and have an ear? (an eye I s'pose?) then [email-masked] it is. <BR>
<BR>

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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=89">erin</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

jon,<BR>
i really liked 'searching'.  it made me think.
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=5">jackryhme</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

lol still gotta love this site...
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=644">wordley</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

No1..Potter's wheel in 'GHOST'...Demi Moore & Patrick Swayze.."Un-chained Melody" playing in the background<BR>
<BR>

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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=644">wordley</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

Whoops...wrong board!!...but what the hell, the thought of all that clay...(sigh).. make myself a doorstop!!
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=8">Ali</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

TJ~<BR>
<BR>
Just read your answers to the survey question...Braveheart and Glatiator (Um, did I spell that right? lol)? I love both of those movies...Great choices...*smile*<BR>
<BR>
Love and fragile strength, Ali
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=670">Jennifer</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

angieubaldo~<a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2002.04.13.06.52.375">where i've been</a> was great! I once asked a guy something like that, his answer was yes, but in the end he ended up being wrong. How funny it is now......Great work though, I really enjoyed reading it! One question though....tabasco sauce on popcorn? Never heard of it...but I really liked that poem too!<BR>

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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=141">wistful</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

Thank you all for your words of wisdom, encouragement, and support.  TJ, I especially thank you for sharing the painful details of your relationship with Sean; it helped me in both knowing I'm not unique/alone in this, and putting mt situation in perspective.  (no kids, no move, no marriage, etc.)<BR>
<BR>
Yesterday, I wrote this guy a long email, detailing every point of pain that his lies have caused.  How he stripped me of my defenses with his lies.  How he stole five months of my life when I could have been pursuing a viable relationship; and more time to heal before I'm ready to look again.  How he made me into an adulteress, the same character that destroyed my own marriage years ago.  And by letting me bring him so far into my life, I'm forced to relive the shame a hundredfold, every time a family or friend asks me about him.<BR>
<BR>
I told him to pursue therapy the way he pursues work (or pursued me!). That he will never find happiness with his wife or anyone else without addressing his fatal flaws.  To know them as flaws is not enough.  And finally, I asked him if he loved his wife enough to tell her the truth of *our* relationship, or if she deserved to live a lie too.<BR>
<BR>
He read it and called me to agree to everything I wrote (there was a small satisfaction in that).  We are meeting a final time today to exchange goodbyes, return possessions, and wish each other future happiness. I can't wish him ill, because part of me will always love the man I thought he was; and that he could be, if he can make the commitment to himself to change his behavior.<BR>
<BR>
Whenever my head and heart are at war, it's a painful and prolonged thing.  The strength to do the right thing seems Herculean!  But I will, with the support of friends and family, and this wonderful community of "lovers of love"!  You all help to prevent me from hardening my heart to other possibilities in the future.<BR>
<BR>
On a more positive note, I forced myself to go to a benefit last night.  After an all-day rehearsal, without makeup, eyes puffy from crying and not sleeping all night, sweaty and exhausted, I was heading to a friend's house to cleanup and change for the party.  A man drove by me slowly, pulled up at my friend's apartment building, and waited by the door so he could hold it open for me.  We entered the elevator together, and when he got off at his floor, he turned to me and said "You are very beautiful woman".  I almost cried with gratitude.  I also got hit on at the party.  Though I can't imagine dating anyone for a while, it's good to know I'm not dead yet. . . ;-)<BR>
<BR>
Again, my most sincere thanks to you all!
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=22">angieubaldo</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

Jennifer~i am glad you liked my poem, i wrote it because of the fact that some men, cannot accept me for what I am, and sometimes i let it get to me.  But then i realize I am who I am, and whoever is worthy of my love will accept that.  And as far as the tabasco sauce on popcorn, its good, you should try it...LOL.  =&gt;
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=5">jackryhme</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

wistful<BR>
umm why do you feel shame? you did not know for he lied, shame accrues only when you know of his lies and still choose to believe.  k? everyone you know will understand the simple phrase ... he lied.  its harder to explane he lied and lied and lied and keeps on lieing...<BR>
<BR>
i do wish you better times <BR>
<BR>
jack
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=4">TJ Holland</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

jackrhyme ~ I can understand wistful's feeling of shame. It's not RIGHT, or VALID, but it's THERE. I can't really explain, but I too felt VERY ashamed and embarrassed when Sean and I broke up. It was partly because I had told my friends and family HE WAS THE ONE!! Also, I felt people would think I must be of little value if a guy could treat me that way. And then the ever-present thought, "I must be a fool. How could I have let this happen to me. Have I no insight?! No discretion?? Indeed, I must be a fool." I think it is all of those, and more. It's indescribable!
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=4">TJ Holland</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

Oh, Wordley!!! YES! That 'City of Angels' scene was incredible!!!!!!! The whole premise of the movie was one that escapes most of us on this earth in this day and age. I have to commiserate with you. I cried too! As a matter of fact, I sobbed! No...I wept! I tried so hard to stop crying and just COULDN'T! I think I was weeping for the WHOLE WORLD!<BR>
 <BR>
(another movie that I cried like that in was "Pay It Forward". Oh, MAN!!) <BR>
<BR>
in lumine tuo videbimus lumen<BR>
-Teej
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=8">Ali</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

wistful~<BR>
<BR>
I just wanted to tell you that I think you did the right thing...and that the letter was a good idea...And that you definitely deserve better...((HUGS))<BR>
<BR>
Love and fragile strength, Ali
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=644">wordley</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

To Wistful, Teej and any other ladies let down by some lyin'rat who gives the rest of GENTLEMEN a bad name!!<BR>
<BR>
Borrow, download or otherwise acquire the song "A Little Time" by "Beautiful South"...I think you will appreciate its sentiment!!....And Wistful, shame is too heavy a cloak for you to wear, just try the shawl of embarressment, we all, at some time or another , have been 'caught out' by someone who wasn't what they seemed to be....I know I have and far from being shamed I felt angry that this 'person' had got close enough to do this to ME....and i'd let them!!. Shame is not for you, it's for HIM, it belongs to the culprit NOT you, the victim. At least you can look at your self in the mirror with a clear conscience...He most certainly can't!!...Wistful, I used to be a victims of crime counsellor, and our main function when working with a victim of ANY crime (that's you) was to help them understand that they had NOTHING to be ashamed of....the woman mugged in the street for a few pounds, she just happened to be where a mugger was ...NOT her fault!!....the family burgled, the burglar picked their house by chance...NOT their fault. And you, lied to, conned, deceived....NOT YOUR FAULT...these people live to do this, they know no other way, they need to control you by lying to guide your life with them, to keep you close to use you... Thank God you've seen the light..remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life, go enjoy!! 
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=670">Jennifer</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

Oft felt~<a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2002.04.14.13.40.1475">more than miles...</a> was wonderful! Such beautifully written words!
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=436">Jon</a><BR>
Date: 14 April 2002<P>

angieubaldo~heh I think waking up with a woody is "problem" all guys have.  I used to dorm in co-ed dorm building here at UCLA and, well, waking up with a woody with a room full of females can be really embarassing at times.  ;-)<BR>
<BR>
Babygirl~Thank you, I've enjoyed your work as well.  I don't know if you saw my comment on the board a few weeks ago, but yeah I pretty much said I love your work.<BR>
<BR>
erin~Thank you I'm glad you liked it.  I really liked your piece "congruently".<BR>
<BR>
Take care and all that wistful-is-the-greatest stuff.<BR>
<BR>
-Jon :-)
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