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I have a deep dark secret that I have never told. Though it.s remained hidden, there is another person who is conspiring with me. You may be asking yourself why I have chosen this medium to unleash the darkest secrets of my soul, but I would ask, why the hell not? Here it goes, the deep breath before the plunge..
I met my husband through a personal ad! There. I feel much better now. Now with that said, the ultimate question of why was I so afraid to admit such a thing? To this day I cannot give a straight answer for that. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, we say over Noam Chomsky at Harry W. Schwartz. People seem to be shocked by the balls it took for us to even talk to each other at a bookstore. Not that it would be anything different for me, all anyone has to do is bet me a $1 and I.ll lay myself down provocatively on the hood of a corvette! Yes, that is a true story as well. It happened when I was in a transitional period, I had just lost my best friend, my car had bottomed out and was out of commission, and I was very lonely. So one day while opening up the local indy newspaper, the Shepherd Express-Metro, I saw an ad that women could talk for free on the phone line. It had a local number, so away my fingers flew and I dialed. At first I was hesitant, but how the internet gives you freedom, so does the telephone. I felt uninhibited, that I could just be .me.. But while masked behind the .do you want to leave a message for this person?. there was still the sense of the taboo. Eventually I got tired of it, after wading through too many freaks, geeks and weirdos, I had my lifetime fill of perverts. But on one last whim, I listened to one more ad. He said he loved jazz. (!) He said he loved japanimation (!) He said that he was a former punk rocker (!) He said he had piercings (!!!!). There were a bunch of other things he said, but those caught me, he seemed to be someone I would be interested in talking with. So, I took that fateful plunge, and I left him a message. And Lo- He left me one back! We started talking on Wednesday, September 25, 2002. We spoke every night until Saturday when we finally met. Though such a short time, it felt like the clichéd, forever! He came over, and it was a typical fall day, of course I was scared not really knowing what he looked like. At least through the technology of the internet, you can see what someone looks like. But I was truly going into this blind, could he have one eye? Could he be a cripple? What if he was huge? Though they were all material questions, I felt they were fears that any rational person would have. But then I saw him, and I melted into him. He was adorable. Dark Hair and Eyes, and trim, and a smile spread from ear to ear that was just glowing. That was it for me and for him too. I have never been one to believe in true love at first sight, but if it happens in my lifetime that is as close as I get. We said I love you within three weeks, and we were living together in 3 months, by Thanksgiving. Within 8 months we were married. Since then we have had our fair share of bumps; bumps that sometimes seemed to be insurmountable. This year alone, we both almost embarked on having affairs; ones that would have been the breaking point in any of our previous relationships. But somehow we have been able to find out why we first fell in love with each other, and now though impossible as it seems, I feel like I have met him all over again; that we are just truly beginning our journey, and I can.t imagine my life without him. I.ve never been one to give up, and continuously throughout my quest for love in this life, I have felt like giving up, what was the point? The point was that one day I was meant to meet Brian. That everything in my life brought me to my knees, no car, no relationship, no friends. Without losing everything, I wouldn.t have been able to gain the one thing I truly need in my life; someone who has brought me vision and inspiration. So for you techno geeks, and you lovelorn, it is worth it, all those moments you think will wound you more then anything, and that the loneliness will suffocate you. Don.t give up hope, because who knows, he/she might be walking around the corner as you read this hoping to bump into you. |