Blender of Love
the web's first romance poetry community
I started to write My Life's Story 12.4.2019. I'm on the year 1985 now (not yet on the years of YOU :0).
VERY hard to write. VERY hard to remember...
So much hard things. So much sorrow. So much anguish. Now...
But I know, that in every part of my life there is also much of joyfull things, beautifull things, happy things. I fill in them later.
What I figured out (while writing) is, that I have allways felt sooo insecure of myself. Of if people like me, think I'm a nice person. I don't know that till this day...
You said to me in 1997: "Du Ã¤r jÃ¤tteok som du Ã¤r." - Nobody had said that to me before. And nobody had said it afterwords.
In 2009 you said: "Du Ã¤r ok, men..." - So (even) YOU didn't really Like me.
Do YOU understand, that it's REALLY HARD, that everyone like me, thinking I'm Great - at first. But... Then, they start to think I'm bad. And they push me away real hard!
By Matthew Salesses / Submitted by Kirk, Blender-Keeper
One of the most interesting aspects of Capgras delusion is the element of love. Usually it is not a stranger who has been replaced, but a beloved. In the 1990s, psychologist Haydn Ellis and others theorized that Capgras delusion is the result of your mind recognizing a face without feeling the love that you normally associate with that face.
Love is how we know we are in the right time.
--from Matthew Salesses "To Grieve Is to Carry Another Time"
My poem 5th June 1997
(Sorry. It's in Swedish):
sjunger i sommarnatten.
flyter dess toner
in genom mitt Ã¶ppna fÃ¶nster,
in i min Ã¶ppna sjÃ¤l.
VarfÃ¶r tar det sÃ¥ ont?
My feeling for you
made that poem to come.
That nigt I realized
I love you.
And I still do...
Lately my heat is on my sleeve
I thought I had kicked
Emotion to the curb
Turned off all the knobs
That could turn on the waterworks
You all know moments
Triggering hot blinding sentiment
Well not me
Until just lately
I know there were some major
But this nonsense is making me mad
Everything is tuning my fork
To an emotional tone
I just do not recognize myself
I know my Son is getting married
Yet they have been together
For ten years almost
Tying the knot or not
This is a grand party to be
And here I am
Boxing with the tissue
I am going to need a make up artist
Following me around
With a rag and bucket
Mopping up the mascara
What is it with the Mother of the Groom
Their song to dance to
Giving her only child away
This should be sheer joy
One woman at the UPS store told me
Honey as soon as those nuptials
Are all over and the party begins
Is when you will stop crying
Finally somebody understands this
I have a long dress full of sequins
Like crunchy peanut butter
When you prefer smooth
I ordered it online
Did not see the word sequins
Putting on glasses would probably help
And it will be on a farm called Imagine
Out in the middle of a meadow
Imagine heels sinking in tulips
Tripping down the isle in style
So I got some cotton candy shoes
So I can tiptoe through the wildflowers
Dragging my crunchy dress
All the critters will hear me coming
And they keep telling me
That the photographs will be for a lifetime
A lifetime of bad mascara
With wild cotton candy hair
OMG after this I am going onstage
Doing stand up wedding comedy
About this kind of crazy
Between the weather
The stars and all the raw emotion
They are trying to kill me
I have ten days to get my act together
I am either taking up hot goat yoga
Or getting some great pot
To make it through this madness
Maybe some mellow mushrooms
Probably just something to drink
Then some wild dancing will do the trick
You all please do me a favor
Pray that this wild southern mama
Can just make it past the nuptials
the twenty second of april twenty nineteen... seven sixteen pm
B2 At Wendell Smiths
Having our favorite
Turnipgreens and cornbread combo
I was telling you about a political cartoon
I had just seen
Of a firetruck hook and ladder
High atop a burning Notre Dame Cathedral
I started to cry
And then could barely tell you
You were so sweet
Saying it is ok and wiping my tears
I continued to try to describe
It was of a fireman
Pulling Quasimodo from a Gargoyle
To save him from his burning sanctuary
I was laughing and crying for Paris
And what I had always dreamed of seeing
At the same time
I remembered Lon Chaney playing the part
of the bell ringer of Notre Dame Cathedral
And me as a little kid
Being terrified of his poor grotesque soul
Then I realized he was the first monster
I was ever in love with
It was a love and fear thing
Empathy for a devil of sorts
But was he
I asked you to get me the movie
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
You laughed and promised you would
And now thinking and writing this
I was with my son
You are caught up in this too
But not to worry
I still have no sympathy
Nor empathy for you
Ray Bradbury once said of Chaney, "He was someone who acted out our psyches. He somehow got into the shadows inside our bodies; he was able to nail down some of our secret fears and put them on-screen. The history of Lon Chaney is the history of unrequited loves. He brings that part of you out into the open, because you fear that you are not loved, you fear that you never will be loved, you fear there is some part of you that's grotesque, that the world will turn away from.
the twenty first of april twenty nineteen
Happy Easter Everyone
By zach weinersmith / Submitted by Kirk, Blender-Keeper
is almosti dying...
But my love
I still feel,
what I felt
--Dorothy Tennov, "Love and Limerence"
Love is a human religion in which another person is believed in.
Now by these presents let me assure you that you are not only in my heart, but my veins, this morning. I turn from you half abashed--yet you haunt me, and some look, word or touch thrills through my whole frame--yes, at the very moment when I am labouring to think of something, if not somebody, else. Get ye gone Intruder! though I am forced to add dear--which is a call back--
--Mary Wollstonecraft to William Godwin
The pleasures of love are always in proportion to the fear.
--Stendhal, "On Love"
Oh Love! Thou bane of the most generous souls! Thou doubtful pleasure, and thou certain pain.
--George Granville, Baron Lansdowne
https://kirk.is/2019/03/03/ - I wrote a medium-long ramble/review about it. I think it's worth reading, but if not, here are the good quotes I mentioned (none actually from the book)
"Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: youÃ¢â¬â¢re so cool, youÃ¢â¬â¢re so cool, youÃ¢â¬â¢re so cool"
--The Movie "True Romance"
"You're sort of everything I've ever wanted
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow
You're the woman that I've always dreamed off
Well, not really, but you're good enough for now"
"In the salt mines, nearing the end of the winter season, the miners will throw a leafless wintry bough into one of the abandoned workings. Two or three months later, through the effects of the waters saturated with salt which soak the bough and then let it dry as they recede, the miners find it covered with a shining deposit of crystals. The tiniest twigs no bigger than a tom-titÃ¢â¬â¢s claw are encrusted with an infinity of little crystals scintillating and dazzling. The original little bough is no longer recognizable; it has become a childÃ¢â¬â¢s plaything very pretty to see. When the sun is shining and the air is perfectly dry the miners of Hallein seize the opportunity of offering these diamond-studded boughs to travellers preparing to go down to the mine."
But love, he said, love was a fragile blossom; love was a delicate crystal; love was an unstable reaction with a half-life of about eight months.
--Joe Haldeman in "The Forever War"
"I think you like that computer more than you like me."
"That's not true, Liz. I do NOT like that computer more than I like you. [Please, please don't ask about the laptop]"
"I've got to stop getting obsessed with human beings and fall in love with a chair. Chairs have everything human beings have to offer, and less, which is obviously what I need. Less emotional feedback, less warmth, less approval, less patience and less response. The less the merrier. Chairs it is. I must furnish my heart with feelings for furniture."
"You know, just because I didn't like that ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie Hawn did not mean I did not love you. That's what you always do. You confuse love for admiration."
--The Movie Birdland
but day after day
The snow is melting fast.
Birds are chirpping.
The brich trees
have a violet tone.
I just need Spring now!
And I need You...
With his giant
Python like ego
He somehow thinks
That all this poetry
Is about him
When in fact
Even before 2005
After the break down
At a beach wedding on Ohau
It was and has been
From life experience
Of myself and the sum of more
Using the same
That got me here
To begin with
It has been a
A lovely remembrance
Torture and pain
Therapeutic mind bending
LSD and magic mushroom
Life eclipse of my own sun
Moon and any other planets
My thanks to all of you
Who were there
What a revolution!
the twelfth of august twenty seventeen
By cracked.com / Submitted by Kirk, Blender-Keeper
via cracked.com's 30 Fascinating Facts About All That Candy You Love
youre not here.
The last time I saw you,
we were covered in
frozen moans and sighs
Sticking to our skin,
Burning from the cold.
Icy hot breath on the wind
Tell-tale signs of fire and ice
Created by these two
The sky is falling,
Bits of lace,
Arctic air accumulating.
The frozen are weak for the heat and I
Was scalding hot.
The soul contact felt round the world.
The pleasure epicenter of God.
their intentions so transparent,
I look to you
an army of beggars, amateurs,
on stock phrases
"you're so beautiful";
"I want you now";
"I love you"
it takes a halfwit to fall for it,
this parade of hands reaching out
to take, take, take!
hungry mouths spilling out
so much flattery, it stinks in the streets
then, unfailingly, the parade of accusations
weak men forever shouting
they think I care,
they think they burn me,
I, who have felt nothing after you
I'm just waiting
for the world
to stop breaking
all the women
those feelings you poured into us
these past months
fill yourself up again
with your illusions, leave me empty
of your word vomit
did you think I would beg?
did you think I would weep?
did you think I would even blink?
you do me
with these imaginings
I have been buried too many times
to be eviscerated
by one more ending
I will resurrect myself just fine
Tu, soltanto tu.
Is Loveblender closing down?
All the writes, that have been here since years have dissapeared (e.g. BK)). Exceptionally few poems since a couple of months...??
I sent you a text 1-2 years ago:
"Do you remember me?
I remember You very much."
You didn't answer.
I think of You often.
I dream about You
about once a month
(very vivid dreams :0).
I have many times damned
the fact, that I can't
block you out of my mind,
out of ME!
It just IS Always You...
By Phoebe Judge and Lauren Spohrer / Submitted by Kirk, Blender-Keeper
By Wilkinson / Submitted by Kirk, Blender-Keeper
You are a rather known person.
And you still do a lot,
that even the media
is interested in.
But when I put eg.
a Google search on you,
I get VERY few hits.
I think it's because you
block ME out!
Well. About 10 years ago
I was rather terrible.
I almost harrassed you.
I AM Sorry about that!
But You continued
to write to me here...
that I dream often of you.
Lovely dreams of you and me
Sometimes we are
as we are now:
You 66, I 70.
The passion is still there.
The teasing, the tenderness.
Oh. That reminds me of
that you loved to tease me.
Eg. your joke with the date
on your email 1997 :D.
Sometimes you and I
are as we were 20 years ago.
And the other people,
that were around us then
are in the dream too.
I love to dream about You in my sleep!
my mother hand-stitched me
a dress like a dream
layers upon layers
of silk and net
gold and white and cream
kissed me hard on the lips
and moved his tongue roughly
inside my mouth
saying I was grown up now
this was his gift
men who came later
threatened to kill him
gnashed their teeth and
clenched their fists -
yet wanted the same
(without seeing you),
when you came into the room.
The air was vibrating.
Your eyes met mine,
and my heart
But I don't feel the feelings
I had with him.
I remember other men
I have had in my life.
But I don't feel the feelings
I had with them.
I remember the man
I was married to.
But I don't feel the feelings
I had with him.
It's 21 years since
I saw you.
But I feel all the feelings
I had with you.
Don't tell him I think about him as much as I do
He might get the wrong impression
Don't tell him he makes me smile
Or his scent is my obsession.
Don't tell him I'm smitten
It's just a crush
Don't tell him from afar, my heart swells a little
It's too much.
Don't tell him I find him unbearably attractive
He already knows he's handsome
Don't tell him he's kidnapped my heart
He'll hold it for ransom.
Don't tell him I like to kiss (a lot)
He'll attempt to make me swoon
Don't tell him Iâm catching feelings
It's too soon.
Don't tell him you think we make a cute couple
Because we do.
Don't tell him I dreamed about us already
He'll think I'm crazy, too
~ Just L (October 18, 2018)
it kept shining, glowing
still emitting light
long after it died
it left a trail
burned my eyes
poor baby firefly
you taught me
how it feels
to hold light.
By Farah / Submitted by twisted_lie
I gave you my heart,
You said those words and it felt like art
Lost in a feeling, cant see in the dark,
Where does love end and where does hate start?
You keep me safe from the storm,
Your arms oh they feel like my home,
Oh baby, that's where I belong,
Why has it been so long for you toÂ finally come along?
Higher the flame,
I cast a spell to never part.
Forever and more, I am yours ;sweetheart.
Crossed the deep end ,I was left bruised with marks,
An angel ,a Godsend, fighting demons, I had to restart.
I love you, I love you, I love you, it's beyond me
Demons around me are fighting but you cannot see
You'll always be the one ,you'll always be the one, that set my heart on fire,
Love and lust, I was lost to desire, a soul caged in barbed wire,
I burn into ashes,darling, never believe a liar.
Love is a game,
You gave me your heart,
my demons got louder, we fell apart,
I lost my way, I could not see in the dark,
Where does hate end and where does love start?
Silly cream puff
The good news
Is that I cut it off
Quite a while back
It keeps up to snuff
Flip following me
Like a black cat
In and out
Over and about
Hear me loud
You sneaky shroud
Stop your ghasttly ways
Such tricky horseplay
Get off your nasty dark cloud
Quit haunting my house
What is your spiel
Do you not you think
It is so time to get real
the thirtieth day of september twenty eighteen
Why are people still
Chasing their own tails
Like flea bitten
Gerbils on a wheel
Why cant they just run true
the thirtieth of september twenty eighteen
Chances to talk
Oh you know
Shoot the breeze
Find out whether
There is anything
To say at all
The test at best
Has put you in peril
Yet I am curious still
Of how you might taste
After roasting on my grill
the 30th of september twenty eighteen
Imagination and jazz
To kill the political pain
Rock to put on your daily socks
With dance to chase these blues away
Add some love
And you all know the rest
Cheek to cheek....slow down...PROTEST
the thirtieth of september twenty eighteen
Your mouth I want.
Your taste I crave.
Magnetic attraction closes the distance between our hips.
Tongues in agreement.
Breathe, kiss, quave.
~Just L (May 5, 2018)
Downy fine hair on my shoulders
The indented crease down your spine
Crooked pinky finger I smashed in a door
How your face twists when you say "It's fine."
I live and breathe with words
However clever, dating by text fizzles
The sound of your climax I imagine
Your voice's intonation sizzles
Our nose runs when we're aroused
The secret of true love, olfaction
Your scent renders me tongue tied
The delicious chemistry of attraction
Your full mouth on mine
And light bites I do savor
You crave my sweet juice
Our love has a discerning flavor
Your spine tingling finger tips
Create deep and profound memories
Our sensual connection palpable
How do we release this intensity?
Each feels the same as the other
Reconnected with our soul's essence
Sharing a similar energy
We awaken each other's purpose
Timing is everything
~Just L (May 11, 2018)
[Your response here]
~Just L (May 12, 2018)
I appreciate you each new day. You are simple, natural, waking up still sleepy. You are my sweet dream in your own way. I had this epiphany. I adore the lilt in your voice. It is finer than a symphony.I find sleeping in tangled sheets deeply affects my ability to entwine our bare feet. And, soothing my weary soul with your touch quickens my heartbeat. With you, I feel safe, whole. When we share a beach fire over aged spirits in a bottle, and you kiss me plainly on the mouth stokes my desire. No doubt, I am committed to you. Your strong values I admire. You are in word and actions true. I love you more and more. When you say I love you, too, my heart is entirely yours. In this, we really have no choice. Together, our depths soar. Letâs simply rejoice. ~Just L (May 21, 2018)
Is that your skin Warm against mine Are we melting together Or am I heating you up? Are my eyes open or shut Am I dreaming awake Are you inside of me Or am I lost in you? ~Just L (May 24, 2018)
After hours upon hours of skin on skin, I am awash in a wave of orgasm. Letting the sea carry me away. Finally, getting a handle on this letting go thing. Perhaps it is the fullness of the gift offered in our shared bed. Or lack of sleep after a late night with the band. Either way no matter how we move you always find my hand. Pulling me to safety only to float away again. By dawn, my brain is neither awake nor asleep. Though love fills my heart, sweat and humidity force us to separate. Except for your measured breath, you barely make a sound, exploring treasures in the deep. Pushing your thigh, pelvis, and abdomen to greet mine I scream with delight on the inside. Rising up only to subside. And, as quickly as it comes, it goes out with the tide. ~Just L (May 26, 2018)
See the slithering of the lover, I think he's angry at another. He finds it hard to see the brie, Overshadowed by the wine flowing free. Who is that swimming near the shore? I think she'd like to eat s'mores. She is but a superior goddess, Admired as she sits among the novice. Her intelligent car is just a honey, It needs no gas, it runs on smart money. She's not alone she brings lemon balm, a pet lion, and lots of aplomb. The lion likes to chase the empress, Especially when she's dressed to impress. The lover shudders at the pretty lady, He wants to understand her philosophy. ~Just L (September 10, 2018)
I received a note anonymously; Urging me to open my heart; Trust the divine warrior who leads the heavenly army; Who could this be? The words were written with sincerity; Though the name was withheld, Its uniqueness touched me deeply. He was to meet me where mountains meet the sea; "How will I recognize you?" I thought. Yet anticipating, he penned, "You will know me." With views of the cliffs, I was planted below in the lea; At last he emerged from the sun's glare; I strained impatiently. Then as if in a dream I saw his energy; The outline of a shadowed form, Surrounded by a pink angelic light; I recognized his stride immediately. The colors of love, peace and harmony; Literally, "he who seeks Godâ -- Archangel Chamuel was on a mission to find me. Excited my spirit jumped with glee; "Yesss, I know you!" "You love me." ~Just L (September 15, 2018)
I made a man coffee this morning; Something in that comforting. Watched him drink it over conversation Much to my elation. It's been awhile since I started my day In this simple ritualistic way. ItÃ¢â¬â¢s how I envisioned my life Once upon a time. Sharing over a cup of joe Being intimately in the know. I made a man coffee this morning; Something in that comforting. ~Just L (September 23, 2018)
I want a man who without a doubt -- LOVES me DESIRES me sexually is emotionally PRESENT and WANTS me in his life. You are no longer that man who -- CARES for me makes me SMILE I am my BEST with and I want out. ~Just L (September 26, 2018)
Those eyes so soft and kind Reflect a different set of mind Once enticing your kitten By all accounts I was smitten A hundred yard stare replaced The smiling crinkles of a happy face Among crocodiles you're swimming In a sea of love drowning Unattainable your heart's desire When integrity hangs by a wire I watch the full moon relieved You are the only one deceived. ~Just L (September 26, 2018)
After a month he started to declare his love for me. I asked him not to, but he didn't respect that. He got worse: "I love you more today, than yesterday. And I love you more tomorrow, than today." - I ended it all.
A bit later I realized, that he was just one of these freuds, that try to get money from women (surprisingly there wasn't talk about getting money from me yet between "Jari" and me).
I don't believe, that you can Really love a person you haven't even met face-to-face!
I had met you 5 times,
and read your 400 pages book
and we had sent a lot
of emails to each other,
before I realized
I was in love with you.