empy, Rennie, lulu and Star of David - Thanks.
There have been so many great submissions in the last two days (I haven't been able to get online... grrrr) so well done everyone. Truly impressive. Now I can't write for shit... ah well, it comes, it goes.
willtobe1~
You're sweetness of words is very touching. And the Shakespeare reference quite made my day. :) Thank you very much for your amazing compliment. *smile*
Love and unbound smiles, Ali
coujeaux,
The Curious Power of Charity Starr ...who or what IS SHE??...my guess is Lady Liberty...but I am not sure...possible others....please share and tell me who SHE IS...
all blenderites....who or what do you think The Curious Power of Charity Starr could be?
CryingShame58
Someone... please tell me,
How do you stay friends when a relationship ends? How can you be so hurt, and get over it without, having the feeling to tell that person You hate them for what they have and are doing to you and just move on with no regrets?
Crystal~
Just do it. If you really want to move on you'll have to accept the fact that maybe the both of you cannot remain as friends. There is no procedure or method to moving on, just do it. Just make the concious decision that you are going to move on. I know it sounds vague and difficult, but that's the only way to truly move on. Maybe one day the both of you can be friends again, once the hurt is gone, but until then it's just a toxic relationship.
And you only regret what you want to regret.
The beautiful thing about the human brain is that what it effects it is what you allow to effect it.
I think therefore I am I guess.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Good luck.
Take care
-Jon
Jon,
Thanks for your comments. I just used to know him so well and the person he is now is not the same. There is something going on with him that he can't tell me. He knows that I have never ever said to someone that I hated them, I have never felt until now that I could, I hate that all of this has droven me to feel this way. I have always thought, it's better not to say something, that you may not get the chance to apologize for. You are right though, this is toxic, hell, he is toxic! I guess maybe a part of me just really doesn't want to think I wasted away so many years with someone that could intentionally hurt me the way he is now. I am letting him do this to me, and I know that, I knew it even before your comments, I tend to see the best in people, and what they can be if they would let themselves. He uses that fact, to treat me like wrong, because he knows I will always forgive him. My god, I honestly think I am losing control. I think about him even when I don't want to, and I stand up for him when he deserves to get plastered into the ground. Gosh, this love stuff... I don't think it's worth it at all!
Crystal,
When you have had ENOUGH...you will know...everyone has their limits...and I have to tell you that Jon is right from a man's standpoint..."make the concious decision" & "The beautiful thing about the human brain is that what it effects it is what you allow to effect it"....
Men are usually more logical about making decisions and women usually are more emotional and make their decision from the heart...neither decision is better than the other, just different way of getting there...I hope that you find the courage and strength to solve this...And, it's true when said, "insanity is when you keep repeating the same behavior, getting the wrong result." I have experienced something like what you have described and it's a hard place to be...May you soon find peace...take care...
CryingShame
Crystal,
One thing I believe many people fail to realize about the end of their love relationships is this: The factors that caused the romantic part to crumble tend to also mirror differences that would cause the friendship to end. In many cases, the bond is severed in all respects because things end, and most of the time they end for depressive reasons. If one partner cheats on the other, throw faith in their word, trust and complete relaxation in intimacy out the window. Financial indiscretions? Toss out signing contracts, buying property, pondering retirement and the like. Physical or emotional abuse? Throw everything else out. Who among us would stand for that in a lover? Not many, at least they shouldn't stand for it. And this same person is someone you want as a friend? It doesn't compute, not when matched against common sense and rational thought.
But therein lies the rub, and you touched on it-you don't want to feel as if all the time you spent with someone was wasted, and maintaining the connection seems so important, even given your past misery, your current melancholia and the consistent irritation you feel at your repeated returns to his presence when you are supposed to know better than to engage in that sort of self-destructive activity. But if you take the lessons you have learned about what you have settled for thus far, the recurrent pain you are feeling because of this person, and the freedom now granted you to explore the world and perhaps find another, then you've wasted nothing. You merely took longer than you would have liked and were required to find yourself in other arms. This can be difficult, it often takes repeated blows to our pride, and there are many among us that NEVER learn any better than who we think we are cursed to love with for the remainder of our lives. Bullshit-every free-willed person in the world could walk away from their partner this instant if they wished to do so, albeit with some danger in many cases. But you let the memory of another poison your ability to love again, trust again, and smile again, who loses? Not the one you feel it towards-you lose. And are you willing to let this boy take that from you as well? We deserve who we settle for, and if you want someone better, leave his hold on you in the dust, pick yourself up, and go off about finding it. There is a reason YOUR heart beats in YOUR chest-it belongs to you and always will. Don't ever let yourself give it to someone else completely-share it with them, and allow the same from them. You give up anything of yourself completely to another person, you are asking for trouble.
Or asking to carry around the bitterness that drives you to the brink of tears now. Were it me, I would look in the mirror, prepare to forget this dickhead once and for all, and move on. And stay true to your pledge. It might hurt in the short term, but it will be nothing compared to the suffering you'll put yourself through in the longer term if you allow yourself to be owned one more minute by the memory of a man who no longer should share your life, in ANY regard. If you want to smile again, you have the right, responsibility and opportunity to make it happen. I wish you the strength and luck to do just that.
My thoughts, for what they are worth.
Blessings.
P.S. CryingShame> I'm not ABOUT to give away Charity Starr's secret(s). You'll just have to keep on wondering what sort of metaphors are present within those lines. ;)
KIRK & BLENDER BOARD!
HELP! PLEASE...NEED HELP WITH Charity Starr's secret(s)...teach me who and what are they...
CryingShame58
Aloha and Mahalo to all of you who have sent me emails about my piece. Since this is the first of my works that I have actually sent anywhere, (aside from open mic nights) it is pleasing to find so many who can appreciate it. Thanks again.
I think it is only appropriate at this time that we take a moment of reflection and think of our troops currently in battle... Everything we talk about at this site is important to someone--especially ourselves--but few things matter more at this moment in history than the brave men and women fighting to defend the very rights that make this forum possible. Peace out, ya'll.
**Crying Shame** and **coujeaux** Thanks for everything. I am better than this and I don't deserve it! Everything has it's purpose, and I am once again smiling, because I know that there is the calming inside that has taken away all that anger! I am leaving him now knowing one day he will regret all of these stupid lies he has said and lived!
Love You All!
Crystal
crystal... for what it is worth, here are my thoughts: the first thing you need to examine honestly is why you want to remain friends. if it is to still have some connection then that is wrong and will be so hurtful for you. you have already realized he is toxic to you; question... do you remain friends with females that are toxic??? if you want to remain friends because of the friendship you once had then the next question is would a really good friend have done what he did to you if he was a true and forever kind of friend? i have a problem considering people true friends that have hurt me often and repeatedly. especially someone that espoused love. when you love someone the innate feelings are of protection at all costs, not to destroy. yes, i can still socialize and even maintain a surface friendship with them, however, the depth is gone forever and ever. i agree with other responses and just want to reiterate that we all have a choice to protect our hearts. we can choose (albeit with varying degrees of difficulty that is certainly situational) to remove ourselves from harmful lifestyle habits. and, like it or not, relationships do become a lifestyle habit. the trick?? one moment at a time until you get to a minute then an hour then a day, and so on.... the strongest thing you have going for you is the fact that you do realize he is toxic... as with every thing we choose to change, we have to recognize there is something to change and then take steps necessary to effect this change. you go girl, you can do it and you will be much stronger and better for it. thoughts and prayers are coming your way...
I need to thank some of you directly for your kindnesses.
jwb71913, Star of David, tj holland, CryingShame, RennieLorca> All of you, as usual, do me much credit with your kind words. Tropicalypso (later renamed Tropicalypse in other venues-same poem, slight titular alteration) and Canadienne were among the finer works I've managed to compose of late. Tropicalypso was a paean to the lenghts men will go to pursue women even under the most grueling conditions. Canadienne was my tribute to my appreciation (and weakness) for northern beauties.
The Curious Power of Charity Starr was something a bit different in nature, and just to clarify, it was nothing more than a deliberate attempt to drive poor CryingShame completely INSANE trying to figure out the multitude of metaphors inherent in the descriptions of events. It seems to be working, no? :)
Just for the sake of politeness, CS, the answer to her fate is in line 17. LITERALLY, it is in line 17. That's all the hint you get. :)
aparajita> In love with moi? :) I appreciate the sentiment-that is sweet of you to say. My words are but a pale shadow of me, and if they evoke that sort of emotion in you, then apparently the soul I place in my writing has an effect, and empirically, it's a positive one, eh?
Crystal> Just choose a higher standard for yourself, and you will have done our insights proud. Your happiness is yours and yours alone to discover, and I wish you nothing but the best in your search for it.
Blessings, everyone.
Amaryllis – Eyes – lovely
Ali – Once And Again – wonderful…
Jon – The Last Line – hmmm.......