TJ....the words from your doctor are almost poetic in themselves....and it gave me a warm rush reading them. I do know from experience that if someone loves you, those little imperfections (stretch marks, a bad haircut) become cute and sweet to them. Lets all embrace our imperfections, and hold out for lovers who can embrace them, too!
Jon ~~
Thanks! I really liked "Give Up On You" (though I hope you don't).
TJ ~~
I think your doctor was right...I can't seem to find the ones on my thigh lately, though they seemed 10 inches wide after my last heartbreak. Hopefully they've disappeared forever!
*ahem* "Giving Up On You"
(swearing to reread everything before clicking submit)
Jon ~ I've been enjoying your work. I know how you feel man. Too well. Don't be so down on yourself though. "Experience" is really good.
TJ ~ "Mistaken" = wonderful.
Thanks, Teej.:-) Now I'm wondering who told you I'm not ugly...ha!
This morning Chris jokingly told me that he feels like he's my "first." Like I'm a woman who has recently denounced her homosexuality or whatever. He compared me to Camille Paglia and Ani DiFranco. Chris refuses to come to terms with my "Southern" beauty misconceptions. Like not going out without my makeup on and feeling like my hair has to be long and straight in order for me to be sexy. Love is a luscious thing, that's for sure.
TJ ~ I've seen the pictures. Misti is pretty. But she'll never believe it. It's ok though, it's just the typical woman thing. "I'm fat". "You're not fat. You look just as good as the first time I saw you." ...etc...Just fishing for attention and compliments. :-) Seems like women need a steady diet of air, food, water, and compliments. And she prolly grew up thinking she had to be pale, blonde, blue eyed, busty, vacuous, and barbie girl, sugar-free bubble gum dumb. That's the ideal southern belle. She's not the "ideal".
Uh, I am so staying out of this one, hence the name "sc-queen"...
Jon~ I think it is hard to be yourself... regardless of gender. But I think that those who disregard the stuffy expectations of society are the ones that are truly happy.
...and ALONE. As "stuffy" as society's expectations may be, Jon, NEVER disregard them. Strive to be yourself, but don't be so cavalier as to presuppose that "society" is wrong or "stuffy" or whatever. Your only true strength (and happiness) will come when you allow this so-called "society" to have it's expectations...and be yourself in spite of them. Actually, I'm not entirely hip to the whole issue, just happened to see these latest postings and felt the need to contribute. Blaming society (so-called) for having expectations is false wisdom...the easy way. Actually, it is virtually impossible to say that "society" has "expectations." Rather, PEOPLE (likely, very specific ones) have standards and expectations, but it is far too easy to just operate like you have a chip on your shoulder regarding this whole "society" notion. So, just be yourself AND embrace what the world (and people around you) NEEDS you to be. People live far too much in their heads and not nearly enough out in the world taking risks at every opportunity...particularly writers.
Ya, it's hard to just be comfortable as yourself sometimes. I've learned a lesson or two about true beauty in my 32 years on Earth.
I remember being on the beach and wishing I was a long, tall, cool drink of water. I'm not, I'm 5'4" , dark haired/eyed, and I've been called lusciously sensual...never model poised and svelte. But there was this girl who was built just like me. Had dark hair like me too. She was playing volleyball wearing a pair of cut off jeans and a bikini top. She was very sexy. And she was not at all conscious about not being Twiggy. She had the eyes of many admirers trained on her. She knew she was attractive in her own right.
Then I saw a girl near the water, sitting on a towel. She WAS tall and svelte. She had a body anyone would have felt lucky to posses. But she was SO self conscious! She wanted to lie down on her towel and sun bathe but she was trying to figure out a way to lie down before removing the towel she was wrapped in, so that no one would see the (invisible) rolls of fat (or whatever she thought was there) as she layed down. It was painful to watch. And I found myself inspecting her body, trying to see what it was that she was so ashamed of.
I learned a good lesson that day. And I have seen the premise work in my life time after time. When I know I look good and am confident with who I am, I exude attractiveness. Everyone is forced to accept me the way I accept me. When I think I look like crap, my countenance reflects that and I APPEAR less attractive.
(Wish I could ALWAYS remember that lesson!)
Mark McNabb ~ To you I say HUZZAH! I've admired your works and now I enjoy the luxury of admiring your thoughts as expressed here. Your last two posts by various wise individuals, ADVICE TO AN ARTIST DESPERATENESS OF LOSING and DESIRES AND ASPIRATIONS are all exceptionally profound and appropriate. Thank you.
Thank you, TJ...your words always rock MY world.
I just want to clarify my comment a little... I think it is important to be yourself... and not worry so much about what "society" or "specific people" want you to be. The people who really care about you will want you to be as you are, regardless of what the norm is. I simply meant that following peoples' ideas... when it's okay to cry, how strong a man should be, how feminist a woman should be... isn't all it's cracked up to be. The people you care about should, of course, be taken into consideration (I am not saying anyone should disregard their loved ones) but ultimately, live for yourself.
Mark, I think you have some good thoughts, and generally I agree with you, but I think you jumped to conclusions about me and my "writer-like" opinions. I don't want to start World War 7 on the blender board, but I don't feel my comments signify a chip on my shoulder. How fulfilling is a life of living up to what you're "supposed" to be?
Uh Oh, Full Moon Time Again..ha
bk