I don't know the background behind this piece So sorry, but really, move on! as I just read it, and don't often come here -
But taken at face value you it makes the writer look like a heartless whore.
Not only has the writer been the lover of a married man, but she even flaunts it in the face of his former wife.
Feeling smug and confident in the fact that he is now married to her - she never considers that what he did to his former wife, he might do to her with his next lover.
Good writing - if your intent was in making yourself look smug and foolish.
Reminds me of the country western song, where one is reminded that if he was so willing to cheat with you, by hiding his wedding ring - perhaps he will do the same to you.
Men are creatures of habit -
Judge not lest ye be judged, Cam. I just read the poem...it didn't strike me as being particulary well-written. The tone is smarmy and self-righteous. Reminds me of Marla Maples, for some reason. What does "His Little Fullback" mean, anyway?
Been reading a few...
And for some reason, I can't get "Your Cheating Heart" out of my head...go figure.
His Little Fullback...
you mention God quite a bit so I assume "His Little Fullback" is a Christian reference. It never fails to sicken me how Christians think they can get away with lying and cheating and treating people like shit 'cause "God forgives those who believe on him." Karma kicks us all in the ass, regardless of whether or not we believe in that "Eastern mysticism" stuff. One more reason to sleep in on Sunday. Blecchhhh.
Jack~
You're too great...An Ocean Beauty...*smile* Hehe...
Love and still waters, Ali
re: gypsies tramps whores and thieves. I just woke up. I haven't read the poem. But I read this, "Good writing - if your intent was in making yourself look smug and foolish." Not trying to critique anything anyone wrote or said, it just reminds me of something I've wanted to say before but never have -
and since my eyes can't find the backspace yet I guess I will. I wish I could write this in fewer words, but I’ve a feeling I’m about to ramble. Something often overlooked is that writers don't always write to make themselves look like anything, it's not always a personal reflection verbatim. They write to move words and sounds and feelings and images around like colors coming from the end of a paintbrush, not always from the end of a technical pencil being written into a journal or a diary. It's not always about "me" or about "us", it's not always some sort of self-therapy, it's more about the reader and how they perceive it. It's about what it does to you when you read it, as in listening to music - what does it do to your emotions. Creativity, inventiveness - if it makes you think, if it moves your feelings around as art would make your eyes move about an image, then the words have been successful. For me, I don't even care when people don't understand what I mean when I write, as long as they get something out of it, then it works for me. If I thought everyone believed every stray thread in a poem was a direct link to a snapshot of my soul, I might not write - not that parts of our personal lives don't come through, of course they do. But for example, if I write something sad, it doesn't mean I'm sad today. It might mean I understand sadness, or bliss or whatever the feeling comes through as. All I’m trying to say is I think it’s very important to write what you know and not to invent from niches you can’t understand, but at the same time, If I write something whorish, it doesn't make me a whore, it doesn’t mean you’ll find a scarlet A across my breasts. It makes me someone who uses what I know of whores, who I know of whores, let’s say an aura of whoreness (or whatever the element in question is) as just one of the colors to paint on a canvas of words. Does this make any sense?
: )
have a day! ~ Madi
Yes, Madi, it does! Well-worded, woman.
I don't know why I went off like that, all of a sudden. I've been harboring this bitterness for quite some time and I should just let it go.
We can always critique art but we should never condemn the artist.
I just watched that scene in "Ghost World" again last night, where they took that painting down 'cause some people were offended by it. That scene pisses me off more than I can express.
"A drop of blood falls into the water and every fanged fish thinks it's feeding time."
Madi ~ I agree wholeheartedly, and it's something I've said here before. 'Do NOT assume that a poet or a writer is writing about their OWN experience, that is an immature reader's assumption.' And JEEZE! if we bought into THAT load of crap, the author of "American Psycho" should have been hunted down and locked up by the police the day that book was released off the press. (NB: the movie's got NOTHING on the book as far as psychotic behavior goes! The book was banned in Canada.)
And Misti, you are so right when you say that one may critique art, but should never condemn the artist. So, so, so true!
Thank you both for repeating very important messages!
-Teej
Madi~ Cheers! ;-)
John & Jack~Thanks! I can see where it fits though, the jungle beauty and ocean beauty...it goes with your writing. I can see you two being like that. lol Strange I guess, but that's me! Did you not see the Royalty quiz? That was for men and women.
Lots of Love and Luck
Jennifer
By the way Madison~ sill of a window is very impressive. :-)
Wow! I'm a World Beauty Queen
splatters,
Yeah,....... and I'm the king or Mars!!!........shit, sorry,..bladdered again!! ( and i've got to get up at five!!)
To PEEQUA,
The answer to your question is 'YES', and to you...Yeha-Noha,........roughly translated means "wishes of happiness and prosperity"........
Have just looked back and seen that BK and Teej are World Beauty Queens too! Hey you two!
Wordley,King of Mars Bar, lets see you take the test!
Ooops, meant Bk and Jen. Sorry Teej (what are you by the way)
Yes, oh yes....Madison...your latest addition, sill of a window, is so great!! I feel breathless after reading. Kinda left me wanting to lie on my back in a feild of new grass...and study the skies. Again, I say wow...you've (as Violet as so aptly put) really impressed me.
Laters,
Max ;)
P.S.---Read my latest? Here's the link if you're interested. Swords
Oriah Mountain Dreamer Submitted by Peequa: The Invotation This is wonderful writing. Do you have a web site somewhere??
Madison:sill of a window beautiful as usual..sigh.
kevin urenda: blaze Well written Kev as always.
HisLittleFullback: So sorry, but really, move on! Ok, forgive this crew this time and come out with guns blazing next hahaha. Just keep writing for us OK!
I was sort of guilty of that with something that Jon wrote. I kinda felt sorry for the girl that was waiting on him hand and foot while he was thinking about someone else. The moment I let go of what I said I wished I had not written it cause well it was honest writing and regardless if it were true or not, it was good, because like Madison said it caused a reaction. We all need to stand back and ask ourselves questions before we react I guess. I love the backspace button and use it often here. ha I guess we can't help it if we're a bunch of chain jerking nuts that at times love to wage a good war..ha Let's just try to make it a worthy war. You know, John Ashcroft spending 8,000 bucks for curtains to cover breasts on a statue, things like that. ha
bk
Splat ~ This is what my quiz said:
You are a Forest Beauty!
Peaceful, Calm, and Quiet,
On the outside at least
But hidden within you is a
Rich complex personality
With many sides, capable of
Many aspects of the self!
...seems fairly accurate.
Oh, and I'm a Queen on the other one.
-Teej
You are a Knight!
Aggressive, Bold, Decisive!
Intelligent, logical, and competitive, you live for adventure but also seek a purpose greater than yourself!
There is nothing there about how sexy I am....what the hell?
You are a Mountain Beauty!
Sexual, Adventurous, Risk-taking,
You are an incredible woman who
Men maybe highly attracted to.
Sharp, witty, you exude energy and confidence.
Ahh that one is more like it...but I don't think too many men are attracted to me.
Hey not only am I Queen but King too...hahahahha! (I just took the guys test)
bk
Violet~
Have you been reading my thoughts again? Subtle Fever is exactly how I'm feeling/thinking right now. Damn good writing girl. *smile*
Spaceman~
Melancholy touched my heart. It is exquisite writing, truly. The last lines are so very profound and so very powerful. Great job! *smile*
Akash~
Unfinished... is absolutely exquisite. Beautiful writing...*smile*
Love and hidden hearts, Ali
musicalduck, Hoobastank kicks a$$!! ;-)
Misti, I don't wanna stick my nose in here too deep,
but I don't understand why you have to bash "His Little Fullback" for just writing about(or including) their personal love(be it love for god, person, rock, tree, toilet...etc) Plus, you're thinking of Roman Catholicism with the, "God forgives those who believe on him" junk, which I'm assuming "His Little Fullback" doesn't follow. I just think the last thing this site needs is ethnic prejudice, there is enough of everything else.
oh and madison, really good ramble.
and thx everyone for the good reading.. keep submitting.
Stephen~
I made a nasty comment based on a gut reaction and I have already retracted it, so why bring it up again? If you've read at least some of my Board comments and poems you know that I have a huge problem with Christianity right now due to some unsavory personal experiences. It's really not a big deal, just something I need to work through. I don't care what His Little Fullback believes. I read the poem and made a judgment on it. I think it's in poor taste to profess love and gratitude to God and then in the same breath brag about takin' a man away from his wife. Beyond all that, I don't think the poem is well-crafted. As for the "believing on God" bit, that's splitting hairs. That isn't even the point. I read the poem and I reacted. Again...I don't think it's right to condemn the artist or pass judgment. Keep it simple. Critique the art.
oops...I just re-read the poem that has generated this debate and there is no mention of God, after all. I was going by other poems submitted by His Little Fullback. I feel retarded just typing that name.
p.s. religion is not ethnic.