From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=63">blue sky to your clouds</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Realizing I never, and never will be the blue sky to 'his' clouds, I'm changing my name. It's too hard for me to type that anymore. So now I'm going to post as; where is your heaven. Perhaps it will help me heal. :)<BR>
xoxo<BR>
Elaina
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=195">dev0n</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

thanks for the pick, kirk.  as always, i'm so pleased to know that someone out there LIKES my work. :)<BR>
<BR>
i added a new one.. it's not finished, but i kinda like the ending.. oh well. :)
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=441">Randy1</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Elaina, go for it. The hurt will pass.  And so must this guy.  You know, kind of like a big healthy fart!!!!!  And it will will feel soooooooo good when you blow him out of your guts.<BR>
<BR>
(It takes about a year.) Stay away from those old familiar places.  Get some new prairie to romp in.  Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you still care. Sounds like his ego is big enough already.<BR>
<BR>
Randy1
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=328">Rhetoric</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Yeah to all the Front Pagers.  Very eclectic grouping Kirk.<BR>
<BR>
Beyond Different -<BR>
John Mayer...oh, I love his voice.  His songwriting is strong and he can sing - very cool dude from The ATL.  He reminds me of the possible Love Child if Dave Matthews and David Grey were to spawn a musical son.  <BR>
<BR>
Blue sky...Whats in a name anyway?  Your words will still be sweet with the new label.<BR>
<BR>
nothing...who are you?  I must know.  Tell me something about yourself.<BR>
<BR>
Rhet
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=532">where is your heaven</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Rhet & Randy~ Thanks a bunch. BTW nice analogy Randy. What would I do without the blender?<BR>
xoxo<BR>
Elaina
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=532">where is your heaven</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

devOn~I love melting, I mean LOOOVVVEEE it!<BR>
Nice work!<BR>
xoxo<BR>
Elaina
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=529">Beyond_Different</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Finally someone else who knows his work. I'm the only person I know who even has a clue as to who he is or what he sings. Its so good to know I'm not alone. 
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=152">Max-Rom</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

I just wanted to sincerely thank you Kirk for the front page pick.  It means so much!! I'm okay.  Really.  Noone call an ambulance please.  If I might be so bold(and I am), what exactly did you like about 'Secrets'?  I just wanna make each new poem better. <BR>
<BR>
Thanks, <BR>
Max :D<BR>
P.S.--- <BR>
May I please repost my winter poem, 'Snowflake Splendor'?  I fear that it might have been overlooked being that last month was November...just wondering.
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=152">Max-Rom</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Beyond Different--  <BR>
<a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.03.00.50.11167">Canned Lima Beans</a> struck me...yes, it STRUCK me.  I liked the way you 'highlighted' the words.  And hey, if anyone objects to your style of writing, just laugh and say, "I've got great imagery, so there!"  I look forward to reading more.<BR>
<BR>
~Max~
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=21">the guppy</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

wow...new day, new war<BR>
<BR>
you can't blame people for being morons, but you can blame them for showing off about it<BR>
<BR>
one nut jim, if that is your real name, that was directed at you...you fill a much needed void here<BR>
<BR>
i've taken to writing poetry in c code format now...nobody gets it, and it doesn't work, but at least i'm trying<BR>
<BR>
someday i'll get back in tune with romantic turmoil<BR>
<BR>
"everybody's making love or else expecting rain"---dylan<BR>
<BR>
"invest in umbrellas"---the guppy
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=74">Echolocation</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

guppy -<BR>
<BR>
Since you're writing c-code poetry, you might appreciate this.  It thoroughly exposes my own computer geek-dom (not to mention the fact that I started out on UNIX machines), and it's not romantic (at least I don't THINK it is...) so it's slightly off-topic...but it does rhyme!<BR>
<BR>
&lt;&gt;!*''#<BR>
^"`$$-<BR>
!*=@$_<BR>
%*&lt;&gt;~#4<BR>
&[]../<BR>
|{},,SYSTEM HALTED<BR>
<BR>
It only works, of course, if you read it out loud.  A poll by a computer magazine established "waka waka" as the correct pronunciation for &lt;&gt; (though some readers insisted it should be "norkies"), hence:<BR>
<BR>
waka waka bang splat tick tick hash<BR>
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash<BR>
Bang splat equal at dollar underscore<BR>
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four<BR>
Amerpsand bracket bracket dot dot slash<BR>
Pipe curly braces comma comma CRASH
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=1">Kirk, Blender-Keeper</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Max-Rom, keep in mind that more likely to be liked by Kirk doesn't neccesarily equal a better poem, though I hope there's some relation...<BR>
<BR>
[actually after I wrote it I realized this next paragraph is the kind of thing I'd do in a workshop, like in that poetry class at school, and might be a rough model for the kind of workshopping it would be nice for the board to get more into]<BR>
<BR>
That said, it's hard to pin down what I thought worked in "<a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.11.07.22.42.31662">Secrets</a>". Other poems I can name a particular line or idea.  But Secrets is itself a bit mysterious and secretive, and its nice when the poem represents its title on several levels like that. The rhythm of the first two lines, the pause, works well.  And that sense of time askew is kept up in the third line, "already keeping secrets", which covers past, present, and future in a single line.<BR>
<BR>
I liked 'i need you' as opposed to, say, 'i love you'; it adds a poignancy an effect that the latter wouldn't have had, especially in light of the last two lines that cast doubt on the whole thing. <BR>
<BR>
It's also an interesting dramatic situation, if you read it too quickly you might think that it's "sting"ing the narrator that she's saying 'i need you' (to the narrator?)without the validation, but then you realized that it's stinging "her" herself.  So for some reason that the poem suggest but doesn't explain, she's probably lying (or exageratting) to herself as well as to the narrator or other person.  <BR>
<BR>
That's a lot of drama to pack into 8 lines, 26 words. There's always the chance I'm reading too much into it (possibly even more that I'm looking at it than when I was assembling the front page picks) but the fact that your poem does evoke so much says a lot for it. It works because it doesn't say too much, it's a bit enigmatic without being too general and unachored, and implies rather than explains.  <BR>
<BR>
That said, few poems (even ones as compact and functional) as this one are beyond the ability to give constructive criticism. In this case, I'd say I don't like the word "validate" that much, it seems a bit technical, but I'm at a loss to suggest a replacement that would improve it.  The idea of her eyes "supporting the truth" of her statement is crucial to the poem, so it needs to be a good word.  And "validate" is ok.  Better than "endorse" and "substantiate", the best of the synonyms my thesaurus suggests.
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=1">Kirk, Blender-Keeper</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Yeesh, 432 words to describe 26. Ah well.  In college for a literature class (not the poetry class) I think I once discussed a 8 word poem in like 8-10 pages.  I should verify what the numbers were.  One thing about poetry is that it can be that succint and content rich relative to prose.<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=23">Kirk</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Another keyboard poem that I like better, since it actually tells a story: Called ^&lt;@&lt; or "hatless atlas"<BR>
<BR>
^&lt;@&lt;.@*<BR>
}"_# |<BR>
-@$&/_%<BR>
!( @|=&gt;<BR>
;`+$?^?<BR>
,#"~|)^G<BR>
<BR>
hat less at less point at star<BR>
backbrace double base pound space bar<BR>
dash at cash and slash base rate<BR>
wow open tab at bar is great<BR>
semi backquote plus cash huh DEL<BR>
comma pound double tilde bar close BEL<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=16">kevin urenda</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Kirk-<BR>
<BR>
Thank you for epitomizing what this Board's true function and purpose always has been (at least since I first visited in July 1998).  I realize I haven't been around a lot to partake of the tempest in the teapot (egregious self-aggrandizement is nothing new here or several other places I have frequented over the years).<BR>
<BR>
The keyboard poetry is cute!  <BR>
But nutshelling (so to speak) what attracted you to Max's poem (congrats, btw, Max) is priceless.  That is more the kind of attitude we need around here, and what better serves the younger poets.  Everyone needs to sharpen their focus on what is important (starting with me, yes I know).  And by that I mean collective focus...  Thanks for inculcating that, Kirk.<BR>
<BR>
k
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=9">Madison</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Wow Max, I really liked "Secrets" too.  Thinking about what Kirk said - “validate the words” works for me, but . . . (and I'm not sure you asked cause I didn't read far enough back on the comments page & probably should have before I wrote this) if I had to look for other choices: <BR>
<BR>
“verify the words” works on the same level as “validate”  (meaning and syllable length) Another choice might be "strengthen the words” which keeps the S alliteration thing going on (but might leave the narrator a bit too needy compared to the lead-in)   I think I might like “prove the words” because it's simple and because it pulls unexpected tension between strength and vulnerability.  <BR>
<BR>
(Thank you Kirk)<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=23">Kirk</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Madison, yeah, "prove" might be a very good choice for <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.11.07.22.42.31662">Secrets</a>, though it does change the rhythm a bit.<BR>
<BR>
Interesting to see the positive response my semi-in-depth analysis has received so far (though we haven't heard from the author himself.) Actually I'm wondering if we added a specific poem workshopping feature, should I set up a secondary 'board for that?  Actually it would be pretty straight forward to create something that's kind of like a blend between what we have for the Blender Board and what we have for the Survey Questions, like a miniboard for each workshopped piece, and perhaps then an index if someone wanted to see past workshops.
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=50">MichaelT()</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Guppy ~ That was an AWESOME line!<BR>
<BR>
Congrats to the front pagers.. <BR>
<BR>
Misti ~ I loved "song with a catchy chorus".<BR>
<BR>
There are many more people who deserve more of my attention and praise, but as I am netless at home now I don't have the online time to do more than take occasional snapshots.<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=533">fib</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

tanqueray cowboy:<BR>
<BR>
Draw in your head, alone and too tall here.<BR>
Your eyes already in the slant of drifting foam...
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=17">deevaa</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

*winks at the guppy* hey you.<BR>
<BR>
Everyone, I've just had my very first hardcopy published cover *grin* I'm so proud....  &lt;A HREF="<a href="http://home.att.net/~prometheussoul/index.htm">http://home.att.net/~prometheussoul/index.htm</a>" target=_new&gt;The Breast Man ... and other writings, by Mr Andy Glasser&lt;/A&gt;  <BR>
<BR>
Go check it out, then pre-order a copy!<BR>
<BR>
(oh yeah, I designed the website too.)<BR>
<BR>
take care of your hearts,<BR>
<BR>
dee<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=17">deevaa</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

oh hell, I guess I didn't need that code in there... deevaa = ditz.
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=518">collegechica</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Seems like I've missed a lot of shit in the past few days that I haven't posted/read comments here.  :-P  Sheesh!  This is ridiculous.<BR>
<BR>
*Cellie*
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=12">Tanqueray Cowboy</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Fib~<BR>
<BR>
What an unusual post.  Expecting a reply?<BR>
<BR>
Very well then, I'll play along for a short while...
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=533">fib</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

tanqueray cowboy: <BR>
<BR>
...It is the unbetrayable reply<BR>
Whose accent no farewell can know.<BR>
<BR>
farewell--<BR>
<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=152">Max-Rom</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Kirk, Madison, all...<BR>
<BR>
I am still here...  just thinking about your suggestions.  It really amazes and brightens my heart to think that so much discussion came from that poem.  I thought long and hard of a suitable word to take the place of 'validate'.  I decided to rewrite the poem.  I will submit it soon.  Don't worry, I am just changing a word.  Thanks from the bottom of hy heart for all your insight.  <BR>
<BR>
Sincerely,<BR>
~Max~
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=529">Beyond_Different</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Max-Rom<BR>
Thank you...I appreciate any comments I receive. I seem to have written more poetry in the last few days, since I logged on here, than I had in the past few years.<BR>
<BR>
Misti,<BR>
I like the writer's challenge it stimulates my brain to come up with something new and unique that fits into those words...or is it the other way around.<BR>
<BR>
Thank you from beyond.<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=499">Hedvig</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Truelies -    <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.03.16.23.19583">Winter Wonderland</a>  I liked this one.<BR>
  It was sad, but cute and clever.<BR>
<BR>
Jon's    <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.03.07.13.24564">Saint Nick</a>  was appealing...<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=1">Kirk, Blender-Keeper</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Max-rom...glad you liked the feedback. Please label your poem as a resubmit though.  (Who knows, with my limited memory, maybe in a month I'll have forgotten this workshopping and selection and pick it again...)
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=12">Tanqueray Cowboy</a><BR>
Date: 3 December 2001<P>

Leaving so soon, mysterious stranger?<BR>
<BR>
("Golly, who was that masked man?")
<HR>