From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=74">Echolocation</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Ooh, such excellent postings lately!<BR>
<BR>
holly - <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.06.17.07.31013">A poet</a> - Good one!  Half the great art and 90% of country-western songs in this world wouldn't exist without a poet's pain.  Somehow it seems to be a necessary component of the human condition.  Those who turn their pain into a form we can use for our own relief have a lonely job; this reminds us they may deserve our sympathy as well as our admiration.<BR>
<BR>
krisalys - <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.06.16.46.17359">pessimist in love…</a> - the last line made me laugh -- captures that can't-think, can't-sit-still, god-i-need-something-to-take-my-mind-off-it feeling!<BR>
<BR>
courtney - <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.05.22.33.29045">I keep expecting you</a> - lots of good connotations in the elastic thread image (old, forgotten, limp, just hanging there unnoticed, etc).  And the last line ("it just happens to be/my lovely bones/this time") was a good twist -- I was thinking in terms of sucking the marrow out of life in general, but this points out that every bone belongs to someone, somewhere.  Nicely done!
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=4">TJ Holland</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Okay.....this is a plea for help from the men on the board...<BR>
<BR>
Usually I am pretty good at this dating thing. I like my independence, so I'm not usually too worried about whether a guy is gaga over me or not. And most times it's me who is hard to figure out and somewhat distant. BUT!! my time has come, payback is bitching me out, the tables have turned, the shoe is on the other foot, bla, bla, bla......<BR>
<BR>
I met this guy. He's smart, funny, thinks just left of center, owns his own business, is stable, AND is gorgeous! I met him about a month ago. Since then we've talked on the phone a few times and gone out twice. Then talked more. Whenever we make contact, all signals from him are good. He'll stroke my face and tell me I'm beautiful, he's said he thinks about me at work, when I try to get off the phone he says 'No! Just a few minutes more!' We clicked!<BR>
<BR>
Problem: Last Friday (a week ago) was our last phone call. I called him (it had been 3 days since our last call) It was good. No bad things. He mentioned his phone was dying, so I said, "okay, I'll let you go" He said "No, let's just talk till it dies." So we did. After 10 minutes or so the phone died. And THAT'S IT! He hasn't called since. I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to be THAT GIRL, who calls and calls when it's not wanted. And I figure since it was his phone that died, he'd be the one to call next, and since he hasn't, I figure he's not interested anymore.......thing is, I'm also thinking maybe he's waiting for me to call him, because he knows I hate when guys get gaga and clingy. AND he's the ONLY guy I've dated in a long time that interests me at all. I think about him every day (though less and less now) and I have to FORCE myself not to call him! I am finding all kinds of reasons that we'd never work out (all shallow and trivial things) and I haven't ever told him how I feel about him (Ya, I'm afraid of commitment AND rejection...besides, infatuations are just that, and shouldn't be expressed until one moves out of infatuation into something more substantial) aside from telling him that I enjoy him and am really impressed with certain character traits of his (oh, and kissing him in a way that says 'wow, I'm into you!).  So, I've played things cool, yet not icy.....and I'm confused. What DO I do? Do I call him and risk seeming clingy or too stupid to 'get the message', or do I just forget about him and if he ever calls again just play it off as cool? What's going through his head? Is he waiting to see how interested I am, or is he done?<BR>
<BR>
Any suggestions guys? Anything would help me figure this out...<BR>
<BR>
-Teej
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=5">jackryhme</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

lol i think you have put plenty of thought already  into this  ...probably far too much .. jus call him and yell at him fer not callin     <BR>
<BR>
     jack
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=23">Kirk</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

I agree with Jackrhyme.  <BR>
<BR>
In some ways, this part of romance reminds me of looking for a house to buy.  Both can be some of the biggest landmarks on your emotional landscape, both can be very rewarding, but the resources both demand make it a bit of a gamble. There's a certain balance trick in finding something you really like with not being so infatuated with it that you'll be shattered if you don't get it.  (And, just like houses, you try not to display the full depth of your interest.)<BR>
<BR>
But anyway, give him and his schedule the benefit of the doubt and give him a call.
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=520">Rogue</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

I concur.  Call him.<BR>
<BR>
5cott
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=34">Just Some Girl</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

TJ:<BR>
<BR>
I know you aren't soliciting the advice of the ladies...but I have to say that I think you should NOT call.<BR>
<BR>
He has your number. If he is really interested, he WILL call. Believe me, I have seen friends who are in your EXACT predicament who DO call. And I see them struggle just as you are struggling because it then becomes a vicious cycle. <BR>
<BR>
And then I have asked THE VERY GUYS WHO DON'T CALL why they act the way they do; interested one minutes then doing the disappearing act...and most of the time they say because they just aren't that interested, but that they don't want to hurt the girl's feelings.<BR>
<BR>
I may be off base and your situation may be different. BUT...I think you should not call. <BR>
<BR>
<BR>

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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=23">Kirk</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

JustSomeGirl has some point; you have to brace yourself for the possibility that his attention has drifted, and if you do call to face what he says with a realistic appraisal of whether or not things still have potential.  If you don't call, you risk losing something that has potential but got sidetracked by something in his life.  If you do call, you risk being hung up on a guy who isn't as interested as he seemed.  I think the latter is a more interesting risk to take.
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=5">jackryhme</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

call him, yell at him, and then let him make it up to ya k? 
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=74">Echolocation</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

B.K., hope you don't mind, I don't usually point out typos but this one -- the mental picture was just too hilarious not to pass on.  <BR>
<BR>
  From <a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2001.12.07.12.04.6520">But We Survived</a>:<BR>
<BR>
  Then these crazy Indians who think<BR>
  We look like George Custer's cousin come<BR>
  Along and bury us up to our<BR>
  Noses in aunt hills<BR>
<BR>
Now, my aunt weighs in at about 250 pounds, so that would be some hill.  <BR>
<BR>
Of course, given the nutty nature of some of us here, maybe it's not a typo at all and that's exactly what you MEANT, though just how the Indians would acquire your mother's sisters is hard to imagine...<BR>
<BR>

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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=113">TaintedOne</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Elaina - "So Alone" - I feel your pain, babe.  Who knows when we'll be able to love again?  I just hope it's soon...or not?<BR>
<BR>
Feel better, good work--<BR>
TaintedOne
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=23">Kirk</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Jackrhyme:<BR>
at the risk of sounding like a TOTAL net geek... (well, I was deeply into Star Trek in middle school, but kind of lost interest to a certain extent later)-- your note *really* reminded me of this line from one episode of Star Trek, "Mirror Mirror" where the Trek crew get sent to the "evil" mirror universe, and good Lt. Uhura works on seducing evil Mr. Sulu:<BR>
<BR>
"You aren't very persistent Mr. Sulu.  The game has rules. You're ignoring them. I protest and you ... come ... back. You didn't ... come ... back." <BR>
<BR>
She's really sexy with those lines, actually.<BR>
<BR>
<a href="http://www.elysiumgates.com/theater/1/startrek/ep-39.htm">http://www.elysiumgates.com/theater/1/startrek/ep-39.htm</a> has a detailed episode retelling, with lots of pictures (including Uhura in her "bad girl" outfit w/ bare midriff)
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=50">MichaelT()</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

TJ ~ Call him! You're taking a small risk but like you said -- he's the only guy you've met in a while you think is worth your time. Be prepared to leave a message. <BR>
<BR>
Two calls in a row is not clingy. And yell at him for not calling. That will clue him in about your interest as well as tell him he needs to up his ante or get the hell out of dodge.<BR>
<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=4">TJ Holland</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

I gotta thank you guys (and gal) for the advice! Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouverymuch. <BR>
<BR>
Here's what happened (All I can do is laugh and cringe!!)...I called his cell phone and he answered. There was this really loud beeping (the back up signal in of a frontend loader) and he says, "Hello?" I say, "Hi!" *things get staticky and garbled* He says, "Oh, hi. How are you?" *can't tell if he's enthused, pleased, bothered, bored, or neutral* To which I reply, "Are you in your big machine?" And I hear him say something that sounds like "Kchchc...my....zttkk...ya ...mmmktkttbig...machinertrtrtrkkktchchch..." Then there's me, "Hello?....Helloooo?...okay, bye!" A couple minutes later I call back and get the voice mail. I leave a message that says, "Hey you, I just got a cell phone and thought I'd give you my number just incase you decided to call, which you never do....well, okay I can't say NEVER, but hey, if you ever DO call again, call 521-****. Take care!"<BR>
<BR>
So, that's it. I took the advice of the majority (again, thank you!) and called. And yes MichaelT(?) I had to leave a message. I'm thinking that was a good thing, because he didn't have to talk on the phone trying not to be rude (if he's not interested, but being nice) and now the ball is really in his court. This way, if he never calls back, I'll know what I need to know. I'm laughing my ass off thinking maybe he faked the whole disconnect thing to get out of talking to me! Did a good job, if that's the case! LOL!! What do you all think about this? <BR>
<BR>
Now I'm gonna go on with my life and forget about him till he fades or resurfaces...either way, I'll be fine! (going out for paintball and dinner on Saturday with some other guy, that'll help take my mind off him)<BR>
<BR>
Luv Ya All!<BR>
<BR>
-Teej 
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=4">TJ Holland</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

So, Kirk....I guess I let the realtor know I am somewhat interested, but a bit peeved at not being able to reach them when I need to. If the realtor wants to sell the house, they'll call, huh? Meantime, I'm looking at other houses. Heeheee!! 
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=13">B.K.</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

TJ;Ok so get him off your chest, call him one last time and if he doesn't take the hook, fish elsewhere. But only once more. You know you could wait a few days more before you call, that way you don't sound too eager.<BR>
<BR>
Echolocation; This is funny, no likness there, just my wicked imagination and my apology to your aunt. ha ha ha who would have thunk ha. <BR>
<BR>
Holly; Thanks for your earlier comments on Today I Just Want You.<BR>
<BR>
I need to catch up on my reading and come back and make comments. Right now I am fighting with a 7ft Spruce tree and so far it's winning. Ha I got it in the stand and it smells so good. Lighting comes next, thats the part I hate, I need a lighting engineer..ha ha Decorating is pure pleasure after that. <BR>
<BR>
bk
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=5">jackryhme</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

fer Lt. Uhura? in her prime?   umm heh i wouldnt have left...  lol protest to me baby and ill dine ya with fine wine
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=2">scqueen</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

TJ ~ Drop him. He would've already called if he wanted to. Believe me. Don't waste another thought. And don't put up with some bullshit excuse when he realizes what he lost, and calls back in a few weeks, trying to smooth things over.
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=74">Echolocation</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Kirk -- yay for the Star Trek quote!  Uhura was a great chick.  She always shone on the rare occasions when she got better lines than "Hailing frequencies open, sir."  Personally I think that scene you mentioned is one of the best in the whole series, second only to the world's first televised interracial kiss :P
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=41">Du'Doll</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

**Hey Everybody**<BR>
<BR>
I have a huge favor to ask of everyone.  If you wouldn't mind would you all answer this question.  "If you had one line to promise one thing to a person that you were going to spend forever with, what would your one line be?"<BR>
<BR>
Du'Doll
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=5">jackryhme</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Du'Doll <BR>
umm something like this?<BR>
<BR>
i cant promise you happiness, cause this is something we both have to work for,  but i can promise you will never be alone.
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=4">TJ Holland</a><BR>
Date: 7 December 2001<P>

Good one Jack! (re:Du'Doll's inquiry)<BR>
<BR>
Or how 'bout these:<BR>
<BR>
"Infinity, baby...that's what I can promise you."<BR>
<BR>
"Roads will take us into our future where there will be mountain tops we shall climb to, and valleys where we may cry, and I promise to take this journey beside you the whole way."<BR>
<BR>
"I'm not gonna leave you, so you might wanna make plans for that."<BR>
<BR>
or revising a quote from elsewhere..."It may not always be easy, but it WILL be worth it."<BR>
<BR>
Bah....this is HARD!
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