| seth | true pain is love believe me i know |
| Misti | That the love won't be returned and if it is that it won't be as intense as the love I feel for them or that it won't last as long as I want it to, which is forever. Because I believe in that, despite everything. I am into monogamy and the long haul. |
| mytwocents | If love involves pain, then you are with the wrong person. I finally found a painless relationship - that has lasted for more than five years, and that was how I knew that this time it was the right one. I say, if it's painful; move on. There are painless relationships out there, just waiting to be had - I found one; you can too. ` |
| spaded | Well, I truly loved and for some insane reason still do truly love my husband. We are seperated and going for a divorce (I finally got the paper work all in). I made the decision to leave, because truly loving him meant accepting him. And who he is, is not someone I can build a life for me and my children with. He is a great guy, but he is a terrible husband and father, who can not take the responsiblity neccesary to help take care of a family. So for me hurting him, was what hurt me the most. Of course he does not believe I would have left if I loved him, but I don't think I will ever love so intensely again. |
| Crystal | The fact that you will love them forever, even if they may not love you for a fraction of that time, and you get so upset at yourself, because if they find someone that makes them happy or you assume they are happy, you want the best for them, yet at the same time, so horribly hurt. You're just torn that it couldn't be you, and you keep struggling with being happy for them, and being sad all at the same time. It freakin' sucks and what is worse is later possibly finding out you went through all of that for nothing, that their entire relationship wasn't even as great as you thought. |
| Crystal | I don't think that I worded my answer correctly, I don't even know if it makes any sense at all to you, but when the hell did anything to do with love make sense? Love= HA! Not a word I would ever describe as sensible! |
| Juhaa | I agree with mytwocents, love shouldn't hurt. True love doesn't. The love I share with my husband is pain free. It's not hassle free, or free of disagreements. But because it's full of discussion and laughter and tolerance, it doesn't hurt. True love is liberating and exhillarating, not hurtful. The only thing I can imagine that would hurt is when your love dies. But even that pain is softened with the knowledge of joining them again and memories to last the remainder of your earthly life. |
| seck | knowing that you can't teach them to love themselves. |
| Jon | I agree with mytwocents and Juhaa true love “should” be painless, my wife and I have a painless relationship, but I don't think that's what the question is about. The question is not about true love the question is about genuinely loving someone (anyone), and I think the one thing that may hurt people the most about loving someone either it be platonic or romantic is having that person not love you back. |
| jack | lol love is pain and anguish, its long nights without rest, worry of the future, past... yesss a true roller coaster ride of ups and downs. sometimes one can see heaven and others... well you bake in hell... but love quite simply is being able and wishing for all the best for nothing eles really matters but closeness to the one you love best. |
| Juhaa | Okay, answering more to the specifications of Jon, great man that he is, what can hurt about loving someone is watching them destroy themselves; whether it be with drink or drugs, or with a relationship they are in that damages everyone involved. Some people just want to self-destruct, slow or fast. It's hard to watch. |
| muryan | What hurts me most about truly loving my current boyfriend, is the fact that although we are so absolutely perfect for each other, a future together is uncertain at this point. For the first time I love someone and I mean I LOVE him, I've found the man I want to marry but we are still getting through school, and the future is so uncertain it is terrifying. That is what hurts. The uncertain future. |
| ~Harem~ | You have the choice. If you like the knot in your stomach relationship that you never know where you stand, or the game playing is causing you anxiety - then that type of a relationship can be painful, very painful. Some people call that love. Then on the other hand, If you avoid such relationships that are teeter-totter, rocky-road types, and hold out for the seamless, smooth, happy-go-lucky type of relationships; then you would have to say that love is pain free. It depends upon what you are looking for. Myself, I am into painless. I learned the hard way that love does not have to include pain - if you don't want pain. The real key here - is "CHOICE". You get to choose what you want. Some people don't feel like they are in love unless it "HURTS". If there isn't some mountain to climb, or something to conquer - then they get bored. Painless relationship are considered by some to be BORING. When the games are over, and there is no more pain, no more insecurity, and no more challenge in a relationship, then some people perceive that "they have fallen out of love." Such people are doomed to constantly seek troublesome relationships that have a constant pain to them. As long as their stomach is in knots - they declare that they are still in love. Take away the pain, the ache, the stomach knot - and they have to look somewhere else for more excitement. Some are just that way. . |
| spirial | ah no pain as in when you sit your sweet loved down and that because of language differences you are the one best suited to explain to her that she has cancer... no pain as in when the docs explain the possibilities of something wrong with the pregnancy and your choice on how to explain hmmm no pain as in when you child is coughing through the night and you must seek help... lol no pain nah simply life ...the worst is simply being away... |
| Star of David | What hurts about truly loving someone is knowing that you may not be able to always keep him/herhappy and that he/she may not be safe sometimes, the fear that something may happen to him/her and and cause him/her pain; the fear of not being able to keep your loved one safe and loved and protected always, unafraid and loved every day. When I am no longer here and it's not in my hands anymore, I fear that the one I love will not be loved the same. that's what hurts most, not be able to ensure that person's happiness forever. |
| B.K. | If you let go of fear and realize love is not a possession but something as free as the air you breathe...it's lovely. It's when you apply ownership that it becomes painful. |
| chris | Wow. You said it, Harem. The whole "love-doesn't-have-to-equal-pain" concept is probably the single biggest lesson I learned from my divorce and ending up finally with my fiance and best friend. Of course, pain can be associated with ANY human endeavor - but it is also true that one major definition of dysfunction is the seeking out of that pain - consciously or unconsciously. What many think is the feeling of being "in love" is actually the feeling of being off balance. So, for these people, when their partner returns their affections and doesn't play games with their emotions, they wonder where the "love" went - or if it was even there in the first place. Pain - when it occurs ANYWHERE - is a sign that something's wrong. Love that gives back freely is the only kind that matters. Anything less is just a waste of time. |
| Chances | If love has ever hurt when it shouldn't, then surely it is for one who loves enough to heal the pain? |
| Hi Friends, I'm Leonard Crabtree of Fort Worth Mortgage | When they can't feel the love of George W. and Laura Bush! Thank God for his re-election! John Kerry is married to SATAN! Everyone knew that! Evil! Hollywood! Go U.S.A! |
| Kirk | I hate being dependent on someone else, and I'm not always comfortable with someone being dependent on me. |