From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=69">Savannah Haze</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

"That was one of the most tragic flaws of our marriage...we didn't have any friends. Two people are never enough for each other."<BR>
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Misti, you are so right.  I have a few close friends.  My husband has none.  He and my friends like each other but it's not like they hang out. He's a great guy but won't get out of his comfort zone.  He lead a lonely life.<BR>
<BR>
To bring it back to your quote, it has definitely taken a toll on our marriage.  I ache for other couples to be around.  He often seems envious of me and I'm frustrated by him.  <BR>
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Just wanted to share. You really hit the nail on the head.  <BR>
<BR>
Great stuff coming in this month so far!  I'll list specifics when I get a few.  I've got some feedback/ comments/ praises for several of you.  <BR>
<BR>
So far I've only got one in and it was while I was really pissed so I kind of regret it.  It's called "Maybe."<BR>
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Can't wait to see the new edition of the Blender.  There were some fabulous submissions last month.  I'm hoping the ones I really loved made it. If not, I'm hunting Mr. Blender Man down.  
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=268">Misti</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

Savannah,<BR>
My boyfriend is like you and it sounds like I'm similar to your husband. I have always had trouble making friends. I'm a loner by nature. I have no social skills to speak of and I suck at small talk. I automatically assume no one is interested in getting to know me better so I keep to myself. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a typical Leo...extroverted, confident, never met a stranger. This long-distance thing has been especially hard because a lot of times when my boyfriend calls me, like last night, he is talking to his friends while talking to me and I get jealous. We all hung out together when I lived in Albuquerque but I felt like they were his friends, not mine. That is partly why I left. I am trying to forge an identity for myself. I suck at sports but I might start playing softball and meet people that way. The idea of sweating with team mates and then going out as a group for cold beer appeals to me immensely. <BR>
<BR>
We all tend to get stuck in our comfort zone. I'm trying like hell to break outta mine. Encourage your husband to take risks and explore interests and hobbies. I hope things work out for ya'll.<BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=268">Misti</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

<a href="/blend/wv.cgi?id=2004.08.01.03.30.3324">maybe</a> ...it hurt me to read this. Reminded me of how I felt when I was married. Very sad. Hope this is just a rough patch and things improve for you soon!!!
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=1139">jwb71913</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

<a href="http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/">http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/</a><BR>
<BR>
I suggest this book to anyone who is an introvert or has an introverted partner.....  It really helps in understanding the differences and the ways both can add to a relationship.<BR>
<BR>
When your life is totally wrapped up in one person, it's possible to smother them without even being aware.<BR>
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It also helped me be more successful in what is traditionally an 'extrovert' field, by giving me tools to recharge and refresh before burning out.<BR>
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I think it's a good investment.<BR>
<BR>
I leave tomorrow for Mt Rushmore and Yellowstone for the annual road trip with the boy, see ya'll later.<BR>
<BR>
Jim<BR>

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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=23">Kirk</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

Savannah, please don't hunt Mr. Blender Man down. It's all subjective!<BR>
<BR>
Jim, Mo and I read that back when she was still letting me think I had a chance.  It was pretty good.  One thing, though, I seem to waver between extrovert and introvert in my behaviors, it's very hard for me to figure out where the hell I am on the spectrum...
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=13">B.K.</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

We're Always One Step Ahead...<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
—President Bush, at a signing ceremony Aug. 5, 2004 for a <BR>
$417 billion defense bill<BR>
  <BR>
This is a real speech and he wasn't joking either....HAAAA<BR>
<BR>
  <BR>
 <BR>
 <BR>
<BR>
 <BR>
 © 2004 TomPaine.com ( Project of The Institute for America's Future ) | Privacy Policy | Site Map | Contact  <BR>

<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=872">cryingshame58</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

Jim,<BR>
I hope you and your son have a fun and safe journey.<BR>
Pam
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=254">chris</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

Thanks, Kevin. It was great meeting you, too. I'm sorry we didn't get the chance to do more together. Look, I totally agree with everyone about having friendships within a marriage. That's essential. But what needs to exist for all that to work is a certain basic trust. Falling in love with mutual friends tends to, um, cause problems. But I guess that's obvious.
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=69">Savannah Haze</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

You know, my husband's being introverted didn't bother me until it started bothering him.  I don't have a problem with it, and I don't push him to be someone he's not.  However, he's hurt by not having friends which hurts me.  He would rather sit and complain that to attempt to make friends, though.  <BR>
<BR>
There have been times when I had to smooth things over because my colleagues would try to have a conversation with him, and he would just sit and nod.  They would aks me why he's so rude and some asked me if he's racist (they were black).  I spent so much time apologizing and explaining that he's just very, very quiet when he doesn't know someone well.  I finally got to the point where I said, "Fuck it."  I shouldn't have to apologize to anyone.  If they want to judge him based on one failed conversation, then they aren't worth my time or his.  <BR>
<BR>
It does get frustrating, though, when I feel I can't go out with my friends because I'll have to leave him alone.  I don't get many chances to go out due to my job; but when I do have a free night, I generally say no to the girls.  I just feel guilty knowing he's here alone.  I've invited him to go with us before since he likes my friends, but he won't go because he doesn't like bars.  <BR>
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Okay, I've ranted and ranted here.  Sorry everyone.  I'm just kind of frustrated and hurt right now over this and so much more.  <BR>
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Thank you for your encouragment, Misti.  I hope that "Maybe" is only a passing phase, too.<BR>
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And Kirk, I would never hunt you down.  I was just being a silly birthday girl  :)  
<HR>
From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=268">Misti</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."<BR>
~unknown
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From: <a href="/blend/av.cgi?id=268">Misti</a><BR>
Date: 6 August 2004<P>

"You know it's going to be a bad day when your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway."<BR>
~unknown
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