| B.K. | It's very hard to do but yes, I think the friendship element has to be there first and foremost before the romance. Then I think no matter what happens you can be friends. bk |
| urbntofu | You can count on awkwardness playing a big part in the "back to friends" stage simply because the moment(s) you've shared will repetitiously play in your mind. Eventually you end up learning to be just friends again (Give it 2 1/2 years!)*sigh* |
| Liz | I had a brief, but passionate marriage when I was VERY young, to a man I had grown up with, and the break up was awful. But after a couple of years had passed, we were able to talk without the bitterness surfacing, and today he calls me his best friend. So sure, with time and patience and a lot of forgiveness, you can go back to being just friends. |
| Misti | I've had a bad experience with that. Once it's over, it's over. I haven't stayed friends with any of my exes. I've wanted to but it wasn't mutual. I've always enjoyed being friends with guys. I've had a few good girl friends but more often than not I had more fun with my guy friends. I think friendship is more important than romantic love but I get suckered in by songs like "More Than a Feeling" and "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" and "Wishing You Were Here" (Chicago, not Pink Floyd!!!)and "Over and Over (The World We Knew)" by Ol Blue Eyes. And movies like "Flash Gordon" and "Urban Cowboy" and "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." And fairy tales like Rapunzel and books like Wuthering Heights and How to Save Your Own Life. And rides like the Tilt-A-Whirl and the Texas Giant (wooden roller coaster) at Six Flags Over Texas. And clothes like anything Victoria's Secret puts out and Frederick's of Hollywood, I confess. Then there are all those men colognes that drive me wild and crossword puzzle boxers and Mark McGrath with his goatee and tattoos. Friendship is definitely more important, in the end. It doesn't drive you crazy. |
| scqueen | I think life is too short to contemplate this answer :-) |
| kevin urenda | Since I make up these questions, I've obviously contemplated this. The Reader's Digest (tm) Condensed Version of my answer is 'yes.' Since I did not answer the last question either (although my short answer to it is 'yes' as well), a complete answer would take up more space than it deserves. |
| scqueen | I knew that would make you answer the question :-P |
| Kirk | there's some interesting assumptions in this question...that many or most romances can or should start in "regular" friendships, and asking if they can return to that...I mean, I dunno, is this the same question as "can you be friends with your exes"? to which I think the answer for me is yes, but I'm not sure about the original question... |
| kevin urenda | You are absolutely correct, Kirk. Those are two different questions entirely. (jotting this down for future reference... :-D ) |
| kevin urenda | oh, and :-p yerself, SC/Cali-girl! |
| deevaa | I guess I'm on the same page as Kirk, I have never been 'just friends' with someone who I had a romantic interest in... but in saying that, I have been friends with my ex's, although not 100% successfully. Hopefully my ex hubby and I's friendship will be successful, there is a wee fella who depends on it. |
| Savannah Haze | Yes! I had a best guy friend that I adored. We were so close and after a long time we decided to try dating since we got along so well. Then we decided, "Hey, this works so well, let's get engaged." So we did. Then, a year and a half later, it turned out that we weren't meant to be husband and wife. We broke up and for about six months things were rough. Then we both decided there was no need to ruin a good friendship. For the past 2 years, we've become close again. He has also become friends with my husband and I have become friends with his wife. We spent a week with them in Boston. There was no weirdness; we have redefined platonic. |
| Nonitta | No. I think that no matter how hard you try, one of you will always feel uncomfortable...and even if you can still hang out and pretend that nothing has changed..one or both of you will always want more. |
| spaceman | Oh sure, you can be friends with an ex, if you are a glutton for punishment! Maybe it's just me, but I feel towards my exes the same way I did toward my toys as a child...even if I don't want it (her) anymore, I don't want anyone else to have it (her). And being her friend means I have to listen to how wonderful every new man she meets is, and being the Neanderthal that I am, I take it personally. So, I don't even attempt to stay friends with exes now. |
| jackryhme | no, not back, but the friendship that can become from this can be far more fulfilling, as in yes i know your body and your mind as do you know of me the same, we have loved, been lovers and still love, closer than friends, brothers, sisters, mothers or fathers for what we know of each other, if one is mature enough. can you see the possibilities? |
| where is your heaven | I would like to think so. Some people make great friends and really bad couples. I think is depends on hoe strong your friendship was before the romantic relationship started. |
| Madison | yes. |
| muryan | I did cross the line between friendship and romantic love. Unforunately I fell in love with him, didn't realize it until we had broken up....big bummer. But needless to say, he doesn't know I love him so much, but we are indeed good friends, even better friends than before, once again. Only, he moved away. Woe is me. So, Yes. I believe that if you were good enough friends before, you will be friends again. In fact, it should make you even better friends. |
| wistful | Definitely. I'm still friends with every man that I've dated for more than three months (except for the guy who turned out to be separated instead of divorced; you know the drill). Since so much of attraction for me is based on personality and having a good heart, that friend connection remains long after the passion ends. In fact, ultimately, it's more important to me that the physical intimacy. Sex is easy to get, friendship much harder. And a friend who still loves you (as a friend) despite knowing your most intimate secrets and faults is one to truly treasure! |