| Misti | It's not supposed to be anything but honest. You should be with someone because you love them and are in love with them. Ideally, it should be requited but that isn't always the case. The feelings you experience should be easy, not forced or false. I'm in love now and the feelings are very natural and easy. I think that for the first time in my life love is exactly as it should be...powerful, true and completely requited. The difficulties I experience with my boyfriend are because we are poor and he has a rare disease that may require surgery. It's a cliche but the way I see it, when you truly love someone whatever shit life hurls your way can be dealt with because the love makes you stronger. At 31 I am finally growing into the woman I've always aspired to be. |
| scqueen | What she said ;-) |
| spaded | Love is blind. It is nice to think it should be easy, but real life is always going to get in the way of that. Happily ever after is a pipe dream that serves to make people even more miserable, because when reality hits, they think they are doing something wrong. Just because Love is blind doesn't mean that people in Love should be blinded. Hope that made some since...lol! |
| chris | Depends. Love can be easy or difficult, depending, I think, on the experiences one brings to the table. Dysfunctional relationships can certainly complicate things - because we expect crazy, we expect to be off-balance, etc. "I'll never be hurt again," said someone I once dated - right before proceeding to make choices that pretty much guaranteed she'd be hurt again... So, like Misti said, sometimes life throws stuff our way, and if we're in a good relationship we can deal with it. But sometimes difficulty is a matter of choice. Find someone on your emotional level. Regardless of what you think, you won't bring them up to yours - they'll bring you down to theirs. That's what keeps relationship therapists in business. |
| Chances | I think love is like anything else. You get out what you put in (without being stupid about it - many people need time out, their own space, etc.). Is that so difficult? But (1) relationships are never simple and (2) if something is an uphill battle all the time, it may require re-evaluation. |
| ~Harem~ | This reminds me so much of the last question about pain. Life is difficult, but love shouldn't be. If love isn't easy, then you more than likely are with the wrong person. Many people may not want to hear this, because so many people like a challenge, and if there isn't a challenge, they get bored. Unfortunately, such people are doomed to seek out relationships that are difficult, and always need working on. It reminds me of people that buy fix-it-up homes that need lots of work, and they never have enough money or time to ever finish them, and the home is always in one stage or another of being repaired, upgraded, added onto, etc. You know those homes with the roof half finished, the paint in three shades of prime, etc. Some people would not be happy, unless they had something to work on. But in a relationship- if you have to constantly work on it - what time is left to enjoy ? I've had relationships like that, that I spent many long years trying to fix, repair and make right. And now that I look back with hindsite - Those relationships drained me of all my energy, and I was so busy working on them, that I missed a lot of joy and fun. In retrospect, my relationship now - is smoother than a gravy sandwhich. It's been three going on four years, and it just keeps getting better each day. The new-ness has gotten newer with each passing day. Everytime I turn around, I'm falling more and more in love. Isn't that a better way to spend your time, than trying to make something work - that is difficult and needs fixing ? I think so. He'll be home any minute, and I have to go and slip into my silk, slinky, leopard lingerie. I have kids that are older than most of you who are writing on here - and let me tell you, Life is good. And more exciting than it has ever been. We're going to have dessert before dinner. If you know what I mean !!!! Wink* And then a sweet chaser before we retire for the night. Woo Hoo...... And you don't know who I am - so I can share this little secret, - I don't spend time fixing and repairing a difficult relationship - instead I spend that time now, enjoying the gravy boat of true soul-type love. Life is too short, to spending it - trying to make something work that just isn't right to begin with. Gotta go, Love from ~Harem~ :-) wink* . |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | Love's easy. Relationships are the bitch. |
| scqueen | What he said ;-) |
| galadrial | Love isn't supposed to be either. It just is. It doesn't come to the heart---like a critter you can tame and call...more like a butterfly that might decide to light on you---or not. And we stand there, and wish it will, follow it with our eyes---and don't dare breathe, even when it lands. Life without love would be a mistake. Life with love is a fanny beating, butt crushing, nerve numbing damned adventure. And those are not ever easy. |
| Kirk | "{making love stay is easy... It's lust that flees}" --Tom Robbins I think that's a very true statement. Also, I think I didn't put enough effort into the whole shared interests thing in my failed marriage. So I was thinking that it was easier than it was... |
| Cryingshame58 | Love is suppose to neither be easy or difficult. My experiences it has been dynamically complex and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. |
| ladyinwaiting | i believe true love is easy, it's the lust/love relationships that are difficult (usually due to our own insecurities). if you have to work to make someone love you then it's not real love because you can not make someone love you, love is given freely and if it's not given freely then why would you want their love, if you have to work at it now then you will always have to work at 'makeing' them love you. once again i believe true love is easy, the chemistry is there, the receptors sites connect and the love is transmitted, thus easy and natural, no work required just positive energy used. |
| Echolocation | Yeah, what Tanq said! I've always liked what Kate Hepburn said: "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only what you are expecting to give — which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving." So in that sense, yes, it is easy. It's as easy as breathing because you can't help it, or stop it, or change it. (Then again, Kate also said "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." LOL!) |
| spencer king | i think love should be difficult. love would be as amazing if it wasnt for the trouble often encountered chasing it |
| jack | love is simply that... and of its self it is bliss... but now what one chooses to make of it and how one chooses to take it... |
| ardimino | Love is both. It can create the greatest feeling in the world and it can cause the most pain. |
| kluless | Both. It is supposed to be easy to love someone, when the love is real, and I have found that to be so. Life, however, has a way of bringing reality to a boil, and circumstances are usually what make any loving relationship difficult. At least that is my condensed answer... |